13/09/2014

Parfum de Vieux Livre

Wilson is in the kitchen making what he calls 'parfum de vieux livre' — he's following on-line instructions for making perfumes at home, but substituting pages of old books for the recipe's suggested lavender heads and rose petals.  

He intends to cut the pages into narrow strips and poke them into a half-full bottle of vodka so that the alcohol will dissolve the smell. 

When the book essence is ready, in a few weeks time, he will put it into an old ink-jet cartridge and print the smell onto his BookPatch stickers.

He said he'll start cutting just as soon as the vodka bottle is half empty…


12/09/2014

The Authentic Smell of Great Literature

Wilson proceeded to demonstrate the versatility of his invention, pointing out that it would simulate the smell of old and new books, plus magazines, and that it would fit not only Kindles but also Nook, Kobo, Icarus, Omnia, Cybook and other e-readers.

'You can even stick it on a real book,' he said, 'if you don't think it smells bookey enough!'

Impressive though this was, I was curious about where he would obtain the 'essence' of books and magazines, but W said confidently that he had everything under control. 


11/09/2014

Wilson invents another Boon to Mankind...

Wilson produced a Kindle and declared dramatically: 'This… is an e-book reader — it is the future of literature!'

'You're too late, dear,' Billi commented laconically, 'It's already been invented!'

W sniffed pointedly and continued, 'It is small, it is convenient, it is practical, and yet still it lacks a certain something. It smells of electronics; it doesn't smell like a book!'

Everyone waited expectantly — even I was impatient to see what came next.

'I have now solved this problem with — Ta-da! The Perfumed BookPatch! It's small, it's self-adhesive and it smells of books! You stick it on the back of your Kindle and Bob's Your Uncle, it's exactly like reading a real book!'

'Can we smell it?' Polly asked.

''Umm. Well, no. Not yet.' W replied. 'This is just a prototype. It doesn't smell of anything yet, but you're welcome to give it a sniff if you like?'


10/09/2014

Wilson bravely puts his past failures behind him...

I suggested to Wilson that maybe he could assemble some more clocks, but he told me he's 'more of an Ideas Person' and better at delegating than doing. I left before he delegated me to clock-making duties.

A little while later he called everyone into the kitchen for an important announcement. 

Once we were all assembled he told us that he was very disappointed with the production figures for his new Mk2 WASTE clock, but had decided to put that behind him and move on. He would be putting the one completed clock on eBay with a starting bid of £250 to finance his new invention. With a dramatic flourish he then produced a magazine and asked us all to sniff it. 

It smelled strongly of VOC inks and recycled paper. 

Tiny Toy complained that it made him feel dizzy.


09/09/2014

The Use of Meditation in Problem Solving

Wilson has a lot on his mind today and must make some difficult decisions.

Only one Mk2 WASTE clock has been completed and his workforce has scattered — the Bees are decorating the spare room in the hive ready for Uncle Zortan, Antony and TT are in the tumble dryer recovering from their holiday and the sTone Brothers, although well meaning, are not very good at assembling clocks, what with having no arms and being unable to move.

To help him make these hard choices W is meditating in the garden — the sunshine and fresh air are good for his brain.

At least, he told me he's meditating. 

Do meditation adepts snore during meditation?


08/09/2014

Industrial Relations problem...

As soon as we arrived home Wilson shuffled into the kitchen to see how production of his Mk2 WASTE clock was progressing. 

He was not pleased when he found only one clock completed and his entire production line personnel missing — with the exception of sTony and sToneye, who were waiting patiently for someone to move them.

W demanded and explanation and sTony told him that after they'd converted the first clock no-one knew what to do next because the foreman had disappeared. 

'And who, pray, was the foreman?' W enquired.

'Oh, it was Tiny Toy,' sTony explained. 'We elected him foreman because we thought he wouldn't make us work too hard!'


07/09/2014

A last (illicit) drink before the journey home...

I went upstairs to our room to search under the bed (a favourite hiding-place when they play Hide-and-Seek) but it was Wilson who discovered them, in the Residents' Lounge enjoying a last Mojito before the journey. 

Wilson helped them finish it before letting me know that they were found...