12/09/2020
FAMILY MEETING
11/09/2020
ANDREW MAKES A DEAL
Wilson was sitting in the garden quietly enjoying the last of the sun and trying to contact his Inner Spirit Anteater, when he was rudely interrupted by the arrival of Andrew, the troublesome seagull.
• flying around, including wheeling, swooping and hovering
• screeching
• stealing chips
• stealing ice-creams
• liberal guano distribution
• littering
and last but not least
• attacking small animals
10/09/2020
Ant Wars 2: GUIDE TO INNER GROWTH
Here is the first chapter of my new book, Contacting Your Spirit Anteater, free of charge for my closest friends:
❝Close your eyes* and Centre yourself… take a deep Anteater breath, breathe into your heart… feel your heart expand, and breathe out of your Third Eye…
Feel a Ball of Light moving through your Third Eye…
Surround yourself with a Ball of Pure White Light, sparkling like diamond ants, connecting you to the Anteater Frequency… you are now attuned to the Anteater Realm…
You may sense, feel, imagine or even know your anteater is standing in front of you – reach out and touch it! Tickle it behind its ears, it will like that… ask it its name, it may answer you telepathically… rest peacefully with your anteater, feeling and absorbing its love and friendship…
Open your eyes and know that – whether you sensed it or not – your Spirit Anteater is now with you…
Now open your eyes.❞
—
* Closing your eyes does make reading the book more difficult – maybe you could get someone to help by reading it to you.
If the book sells well I might bring out an audio version on cassette – do people still use cassettes?
09/09/2020
CONTACT YOUR SPIRIT ANTEATER
Yesterday Wilson was watching some daytime tv and saw an item about a woman who had written several books about 'Contacting Your Inner Angel'.
08/09/2020
ANDREW RETURNS
During breakfast, we heard a disturbance in the garden.
07/09/2020
TT's XMAS COMEDY SHOW
After seven months in lockdown, everyone is getting restless.
❝ Hello, good evening, and welcome to the TT Xmas Comedy Show – I am Tiny Toy, and this is my Xmas Comedy Show BlogCast!
What happens to elves when they're naughty? Santa gives them the sack.
What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.
What is a snowman's favorite breakfast? Ice Crispies.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no-body to go with.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy!
What says 'Oh Oh Oh'? Santa walking backwards!
What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrot?
Whats the best Christmas Present? A broken drum – you just can't beat it.
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph!
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.
What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A Christmas Quacker!
What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceburgers!
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
What is a skunks favourite Christmas song? Jingle smells!
Thank you, thank you, you're very kind.
My time's nearly up, but before I go, let me ask you a serious question: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Becase the chicken was on holiday!
I must go now, because I'm wanted by the Joke Police for that last joke!
I've been Tiny Toy and I hope you've been a wonderful audience – Happy Xmas! ❞
06/09/2020
FIRE STATION OPEN DAY
Following Andrea's extraordinary revelations about Mrs V, Wilson and Byron spent most of yesterday brooding about how different their lives would have been, had not they been betrayed by fate – how they would have been living in Costa Rica, in a grand house with many servants and probably girlfriends…