Wilson was sitting in the garden quietly enjoying the last of the sun and trying to contact his Inner Spirit Anteater, when he was rudely interrupted by the arrival of Andrew, the troublesome seagull.
Addressing Wilson, he asked, 'Wotcher mate – alright? Look, I know we've had our differences in the past, but I've got a proposition for you!'
Before Wilson could reply, he continued, 'You've got a good thing going here with your artificial sea shore and your little beach hut – I can see it must be a nice little earner for you – but there's something missing! Do you know what it is? I'll tell you: AMBIENCE! You've got a serious ambience shortfall… and that's where I come in!'
While Andrew paused for breath, Wilson managed to ask, 'Ambience Shortfall? What are you talking about?'
The gull immediately replied, 'Well, your seaside sound effects are all right, as far as they go, I suppose, but what does everybody remember about a day at the beach?'
Without waiting for a reply, he continued, 'Seagulls! The quintessential seaside experience depends on seagulls! For a trivial consideration I, Andrew the Seagull, will provide a Total Seaside Ambience including (but not limited to):
• flying around, including wheeling, swooping and hovering
• screeching
• stealing chips
• stealing ice-creams
• liberal guano distribution
• littering
and last but not least
• attacking small animals
Whaddya say? You can't refuse, can you?'
Wilson asked the bird what fee he would require for providing this service, and Andrew replied, 'You let me live in the beach hut, and you feed me – it's a snip, no? I'm no trouble – you can't afford to say no!'
Wilson told him he'd think about it, but he'd need to discuss the matter with the rest of the family before he could reach a decision…
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