17/01/2015

Uncle Zoltan settles in...

While Wilson carried on with his inventing, the bees popped round to see Uncle Zoltan. 

When they returned, they reported that he is settling down nicely in the hive — setting out his ornaments and generally making it a bit more homey.


16/01/2015

Wilson does some inventing!

Perhaps in order to take his mind off the recent unpleasantness with Uncle Zoltan, Wilson is starting work on his new card-games — under conditions of the utmost secrecy. 

As everyone knows, Xmas is the top season for families to sit round playing games, but due to having had a lot on his mind W forgot to invent them, so he's hoping that Easter is the second-best time for games.

Even I am not trusted with the details, but W has assured me that these games are 'Totes addictive,' and are guaranteed to be 'sure-fire blockbusters' in the competitive Easter Games market.

And it's not like I've ever received such assurances from him in the past…


15/01/2015

Uncle Z's sad story...

Neither Wilson nor I can understand how the bees tolerate Uncle Zoltan's rudeness, and W told them so.

Billi replied that Uncle Z has had a very sad life — tragic, even — and he was unused to the company of other bees. Or indeed of anyone, as he lived completely alone in a big old hive which had fallen into grave disrepair, and now he was getting too old and frail to cope.

Polly explained that when Uncle Z was very young, scarcely more than a pupa, he had been engaged to be married to the Queen Bee… but was jilted at the altar; since then he has lived alone, just Uncle Z and his un-cut wedding cake.

'You simply have to make allowances!' both bees finished, in unison.


14/01/2015

The Tour of the Hive Ends Badly...

When they reached one of the smaller rooms in the hive, Billi explained to Uncle Zoltan that, as there weren't any external walls, they'd drawn some pictures of windows and stuck them up, 'To make it look nice and cheerful!'

'It's not very light in here, but we thought it would make a nice study for you!' she continued.

'I have stopped listening,' Uncle Z replied, 'Why haven't you stopped talking?'

'We'll just leave you to get settled in then.' Polly said, with an air of resignation…



13/01/2015

Life Inside A Bee Hive

Once inside, Polly and Billi gve Uncle Zoltan a conducted tour of the hive's many rooms; he seemed to find something to criticise in each one, but his hosts remained resolutely cheerful.

Perhaps Wilson got off on the wrong foot with Uncle Z by carrying the huge spray-can of Wasp-Eze, but whatever the reason he wasn't invited in to the hive and remained outside in the garden, pacing up and down, frowning and snorting indignantly. 

After a few minutes he turned to me and said, 'I know he's had a tragic life, but really there's no excuse for rudeness!'



12/01/2015

Our guest arrives...

Uncle Zoltan was expected early this morning. When he didn't arrive everyone started to get quite nervous, especially Wilson who has always been uneasy around short-tempered stinging insects. 

When he did finally arrive he gave the bee hive a cursory glance and said, 'It's much smaller than you said. You also told me it had been "recently decorated"!'

Polly and Billi exchanged anxious glances while Wilson closed his eyes and appeared to be counting silently to himself.

'How was your journey, Uncle Zoltan?' Polly asked. 'Were you delayed?'

'Three hours late — badger ate a junction box at New Malden!' he snapped. 'But I'm here now. Isn't anybody going to make me a cup of tea?'


11/01/2015

Guess who's coming to dinner?

When Polly asked whether she and Billi could have a word with Wilson in private, he was certain that they wanted to pick his brain about the Blog — editorial style and so on — but that was not the case…

Once they were alone, Billi explained that they needed to have a quiet word with him about Uncle Zoltan. 

'What, Mad Uncle Zoltan?' Wilson asked, apprehensively.

'We don't call him that any more,' Polly admonished, 'We call him "Differently Abled" Uncle Zortan. Or just Uncle Zortan.'

'Anyway,' Billi continued, 'we invited him to come to stay with us over Xmas, but he didn't reply. Now we've just had this letter saying he's on his way and he'll be here soon.'

Wilson grew visibly tense and asked, 'How soon?'

'Tomorrow morning!' Polly replied.


Today, Paris is Capital of the World!
Aujourd'hui, Paris est capital du monde!