15/06/2013

Final preparations


Wilson's OBE has, once again, not been ratified in the Queen's Birthday Honours List. He magnanimously suggested that she 'probably had other things on her mind, what with Mr Prince Philip being in hospital and everything.'
Wilson too has other things on his mind as he makes last-minute preparations for our Jersey Holiday. He says that he's only taking the 'bare essentials' for himself, but there is only room for me to take a very small bag of my things — barely more than a change of underclothes.
Diesel the Goldfish is spending the holiday with the people next door, while sTony and sToneye have been given strict instructions not to frighten Antony or Tiny Toy, who are also remaining at home.


14/06/2013

Holiday preparations


The new series of Big Brother started last night and, in a triumph of hope over experience, we sat down to watch the new housemates arrive. They turned out to be another bunch of self-absorbed, pretentious boors of the sort who get human beings a bad name.
'Quelle surprise!' as Wilson observed.
Today, though, we have started packing for our forthcoming holiday — we're off to Jersey in a few days! 
Wilson has made all the arrangements so I shall just sit back and enjoy the experience. W has promised me that it will be 'A holiday we will never forget!' 
I so hope he means that in a good way…


13/06/2013

email surprise!


Guess what Wilson found waiting for him when he opened his in-box this morning — a photo of himself in the captain's chair of HMS Belfast! 
One of his friends, Bob, was visiting the ship the same day we were, and asked W whether he'd pose for this photo. 
How kind! Thank you, Wilson's friend Bob!


12/06/2013

Andrex Moist Wipes


In spite of hating water (he thinks I don't know he only pretends to shower) Wilson is quite fastidious about his personal hygiene. He will use only Wright's Coal Tar Soap, for example, and his favourite brand of aloe vera-impregnated toilet tissue.
As a luxury he treated himself to a new brand of moist wipes: Andrex Kids' Fun Watermelon Fragrance Moist Wipes. He was very disappointed in them, storming out of the bathroom complaining that they weren't fun at all! 
I tried to calm him down by asking whether they were any less fun than his usual brand, but he said that moist wipes are never fun! It was only when I pointed out that he'd bought them two-for-the-price-of-one that he agreed not to fire off a very stiff email to Andrex.


11/06/2013

Setting off for home...


Here we are at the station boarding the train home. 
Wilson was exhausted and slept for most of the journey, rousing himself occasionally to shout phrases like, 'Full Ahead Stern' or 'Start Making Smoke'... much to the amusement of the other passengers.



10/06/2013

Wilson avoids getting wet!

On the way back to the station to catch our train back to Uckfield, we pass these tiny fountains set into the ground. Wilson is not fond of water, in fact he actively dislikes it, but he can't resist playing the game of trying to run through the fountains without getting wet. 
He leaves his hat with me for safe keeping, but when he has finished he is barely damp.



09/06/2013

Tower Bridge, London


Here we are at London's famous Tower Bridge. 
Wilson wants to take the tour of the bridge, which includes the huge engines and a walk along the upper gantry, but there just isn't time today. 
I promise him that we will return and take the tour another day.