The Bees and their little family (the Johnson Brothers) enjoy Strictly Come Dancing – they usually watch it on Catch-up Sunday afternoon, but since today is the Series Finale they were really hoping to watch it live.
Wilson had planned to watch re-runs of Only Fools And Horses on Xmas GOLD this evening, but since he's a bit concerned that his Naughty/Nice score with Father Xmas might need a top-up, he has generously told The Bees they can watch the Strictly Finale... so he and Byron have little choice but to watch it too.
Wilson has caught the children (some of whom – as he pointed out – are old enough to know better) singing the rude version of 🎶 Jingle Bells 🎶 and fears it will damage his Naughty/Nice Score with Father Xmas.
Accordingly, he has given them a bit of a reprimand... even though he did find it quite funny.
However, just to be on the safe side, he has resolved to do something very generous tomorrow night – something involving Great Personal Sacrifice – which he hopes Father Xmas will take into account!
As for the Great Jam Label Referendum, he has decided that, like the Brexit Vote, the process was not Binding but merely Advisory.
Also, since ALL the labels got at least one vote, he says that none of them should feel bad about themselves, because in a sense they are all Winners*!
However, he and Byron are now in the kitchen designing one final Label which will apparently be the Definitive Grass Jam Label...
* Or, by the same token, Losers
Wilson and Byron are in the kitchen arguing over the results of the Grass Jam Label Vote.
Byron maintains that going with the most popular label, D, would increase sales of the product; Wilson, however, is equally adamant that the least popular label, B, would feel rejected.
'I know what a bitter feeling that is,' he said, 'and I wouldn't wish it on even a humble Jam Label!'
The disagreement was in full swing when Mole the Mole appeared, coughing apologetically until the boys noticed his presence. He told W that he just wanted to say Goodbye as he was returning to the Wild.
Wilson's jaw dropped. 'You can't leave now,' he exclaimed, 'just before Xmas!'
Mole, having never heard of Xmas, looked puzzled, so Wilson began to explain All About Xmas: Father Xmas, Presents, Food, Drink, TV Specials.
Mole seemed confused, so W went on to reveal the REAL MEANING of Xmas:
'Xmas,' he explained, 'was invented by the Hallmark Card Company and the Brussels Sprout Marketing Board to celebrate the cold weather, and now it's sponsored by John Lewis, TESCO, Amazon and VISA to make sure the shops keep going through the winter!'
'Oh...' Mole said, doubtfully.
Wilson continued: 'If you leave now, the Economic Infrastructure of the whole country will be put at risk! Shops in the Village will be forced to close! Taxi Drivers will be unemployed and their children won't get any presents! Even the Mighty Hallmark Card Company might be forced into Administration!'
Say what you like about Wilson, he can lay an excellent guilt-trip!
Once the boys had finished decorating the front of the house and the porch they still had some fairy lights left over – so they decorated... the CAR!
I wasn't best pleased when I saw it, exclaiming, 'We won't be able to drive anywhere now – we'll have to walk!'
But with a flourish, Wilson produced a reel of cable, with the words, 'Ta-Daa!'
'That's no use!' I complained, 'How far is that going to get us?'
'The end of the road,' Byron supplied, proudly. 'We've measured!'
Once Wilson and Byron had decorated the front of the house, they moved on to put up some lights in the porch.
Everything was going well until the both got a bit silly and wrapped themselves up in fairy lights – I just hope they can untangle themselves before bedtime!
As more votes pour in, a clear leader is emerging amongst the Jam Label designs... but one design hasn't received ANY votes at all.
Wilson says that he feels very sorry for that label, and he might go with it "just to cheer it up and make it feel better about itself"!'
Sounds like another sound marketing decision...
