Wilson makes a generous offer

Wilson has spied a small statue that he likes, which would fit the niche in the folly and is in all ways ideal… except for the price. 

Taking his cue from his Antiques Road Trip heroes Anita Manning, James Lewis and Philip Serrell he told the proprietor, 'I really like this!. It's very cheeky, but it's a lot more than I want to pay. I'm going to offer you… £7.25 for it. What do you say?

We were asked to leave the shop. 

Standing outside on the pavement, Wilson confided that either bargaining is much harder than it at first appears, or Antiques Road Trip is a set-up. 

I incline to the latter view.

CHECK THIS OUT! 

May has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the latest monthly volume of Ant Wars II: May 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as Birthday Cake!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_2_may_2013

or catch up with backnumbers here:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

          http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ 

and are used by kind permission.

We set out on our quest...

We set off on a tour of local ANTique shops. Wilson has watched several episodes of Antiques Road Trip and is certain that he can bargain anything he sees down to a fraction of it's original price. 

So far, however, he hasn't liked anything he's seen... so his bargaining skills have yet to be tested.

Wilson locates several anteater statues!

Difficult, but not impossible! Wilson has located several anteater statues, although they are all the wrong shape or size to fit the niche. This is perhaps fortunate, as they are also all owned by American zoos or universities. With the exception of one, which is the right size and shape… but inappropriate.

Actually, it's a tiny bit rude, and Wilson was quite embarrassed by it! That picture is not on the fridge door, it's in the bin. W insisted.

ANTique shopping

Wilson shows Antony and his Tiny Toy that there is no longer anything to fear in the garden. 

Now that the Folly niche is vacated, we shall soon set off to visit antique shops in search of a stone or marble bust to fill it. 

Wilson is hoping for a statue of an anteater, immediately seizing on the name of the shops — ANT-ique — assuming they will be stuffed full of ant-related items, but I think an anteater statue is going to be difficult to find…

The sTone Brothers move away

I cannot tolerate those dreadful curtains a moment longer! At my insistence, Wilson has moved the sTone brothers from the Folly to the fish pond. Antony is not allowed round there, in case he falls in the water, so he will never have to gaze upon their sinister, and frankly nightmarish, visages again. 

The curtains have been consigned to the dustbin and the Folly is restored to its former beauty.

This strikes me as a satisfactory solution.

Wilson is kept in the dark...

We arrived home safely from our shopping expedition, although Wilson couldn't actually see much of the journey. 

It's possible his hat will have to be kept for special occasions. Occasions when he doesn't need to see much.

I wonder how much this is costing?

I had to persuade Wilson not to visit junk shops looking for a battered and suspicious-looking violin case in which to conceal his Splurge Gun. Or 'Chicago Typewriter' as he's started referring to it…

Driving home, you can imagine my surprise as we passed this bus!