According to Wilson, he has been commissioned by Antsy – the famous but anonymous Graffiti Artist – to sell his iconic piece, Anteater With Balloon.
He says this is a 'unique once-in-a-lifetime opportunity' for you to snap up an 'iconic piece of art' by one of 'Britain's favourite artists'!
Antsy is apparently inviting offers in the region of £1Million (€1,125,360 / $1,277,367) for this 'totes unique piece'.
Cheques and postal orders should be made out to Wilson Vermilingua and sent to him at the usual address.
If it doesn't sell I wouldn't mind hanging it over the mantelpiece in the living room, but Wilson is on what he calls a 'substantial commission' and will doubtless spare no effort to unload it onto some unsuspecting art lover…
Hello, we are Polly and Billi The Bees, and this is our Guest Blog!
Yesterday was Hallowe'en, and it was one of our busiest Hallowe'en nights for years – the children were mostly okay, but some of the people we Trick-or-Treated fainted when they saw us, and had to be revived with Royal Jelly.
Then Wilson singed his sniffer playing with the magic wand Nërp had given him – we can't imagine what N was thinking of, trusting Wilson with something like that!
Finally one or two people rather overdid things at the Surprise Midnight Feast and had to be treated for a surfeit of Skeleton Ant Soup and Vampire Ant Nibbles… not to mention Trick-or-Treat Candy!
Our First Aid Skills were really put to the test!
But hey, we're Bees – we are resilient and resourceful; that's who we are!
Oh, Wilson asked us to mention that he's got something special and unique planned for tomorrow, and you should have your Credit Cards handy!
Anyway, we've been The Bees and we'll see you again next month – until then, BEEEEEEEEEEE GOOD!
As dusk fell, everyone assembled in the front garden ready to go Trick-or-Treating.
Nërp had been extremely thoughtful in his choice of masks – Wilson, Antony and TT all had Plague Doctor masks, which perfectly fitted their faces, and even little Diesel has a Nemo costume!
So that Wilson wouldn't feel underdressed next to Nërp's magnificent costume, N has presented him with what he calls an Authentic Magic Wand.
This appears to be less of a wand, more of a TASER, so I've made him promise to be extremely careful with it and not to cast any spells near people – but he is immensely pleased with it.
When everyone returns, W has laid on a midnight feast of Skeleton Ants Soup and Vampire Ants Nibbles – tempting, but honestly I might give that a miss...
With only one day left until what Wilson is calling 'H-Day', he gathered everyone together to explain about this year's Hallowe'en Masks.
'These masks, which Nërp has kindly supplied, are so petrifyingly chthonic,' he said, 'that even I was deeply affected by their overwhelming terrifyingness the first time I saw them!'
He paused dramatically.
'In view of that, I insist that The Bees (who I trust will be wearing not horrifically demonic masks but their Sexy Nurse outfits) are in attendance tomorrow night to render First Aid and Royal Jelly to anyone overcome with fright at the sight of the masks…'
Polly then suggested that, if the masks are indeed as frightening as Wilson said, perhaps everyone should be given a prophylactic dose of Royal Jelly and – just to be on the safe side – close their eyes while putting them on…
Before Nërp returned to his sanctuary in the bathroom, Wilson asked whether he might see the masks.
Nërp beckoned and Wilson followed him into his lair, while I waited outside.
There was silence for some moments, broken only by several sharp intakes of breath.
Eventually Wilson emerged, ashen-faced and speechless, grasping the bannisters for support.
When he eventually calmed down enough to speak, he told me excitedly, 'We should be okay for candy, anyway! This is going to be the Scariest Hallowe'en EVER!'
While The Bees tended to the fainted children, Wilson took Nërp to one side and demanded an explanation for scaring everyone.
Nërp said no-one had mentioned the tradition of making one's own costume, and as for frightening people, Google had said that (apart from candy) scaring people was the whole point of Hallowe'en.
However, he explained, as it happens he had also bought Hallowe'en Masks for the whole family, and he hopes W could find it in himself to forgive this tactless faux-pas.
Wilson asked if he would at least change out of his costume until Hallowe'en Night – Nërp replied that it had taken so long to apply his make-up etc that it wouldn't be possible, adding that perhaps it would be better if he remained in the bathroom for the time being. Like a Robotic Elephant Man…
I interrupted at this point, to ask whether I might have a shower before he returned.
Wilson dismissed my request out-of-hand, saying I was of far too nervous a disposition to survive seeing the Masks…
