When Wilson emerged from the toy shop he thrust his purchase — a Junior Doctor Kit — into my hands, grabbed his surfboard and ran towards the beach.
Sticking his board nose-first into the sand he waited nonchalantly by it until a couple of surfers passed him.
He called out to them, 'Caught any gnarly tubes, dudes? I'm looking spend some time in the glasshouse!'
'Point your nose thattaway, dude,' the older one replied, 'See ya out back!'
The other added, 'Hey, nice Thruster, man!'
'Awesome — thanks! Um... Cowabunga!'
With that, W returned to me, beaming from ear to ear, and we resumed our search to find Doc Martin's Surgery...
Leaving the Village School we set off in search of Doc Martin's Surgery, but on the way Wilson noticed a toy and souvenir shop and ducked inside.
He caused a measure of mayhem with his surfboard, sweeping things off the shelves and onto the floor with it every time he turned around.
You know that saying about A Bull in a China Shop? I think its modern equivalent should be An Anteater With a Surfboard in a Toy Shop, such was the pandemonium he wrought.
Fearing a massive bill for breakages, I offered to stand outside the shop with his 'stick' while he made his purchases — I think there is little danger of me being mistaken for a Surfer Dude...
Soon we came across the 'Village School' where 'Louisa Ellingham' (Caroline Katz) teaches older Primary children. While it was once a real school, it has now been converted into a restaurant.
Wilson has avoided any formal education so far (actually I think this is the closest he's ever been to a school in his life) so is pretty unfamiliar with the concept of 'school' except for what he's read about it in The Beano, The Dandy and Tom Brown's Schooldays (Abridged, Illustrated Edition), so he didn't know what to expect as he peered through the windows into the 'classroom'.
What he saw was a roomful of mostly adults eating and not a teacher in sight, so he concluded that it was 'School Dinners' time between morning and afternoon lessons.
Of Caroline Katz, his prospective fiancée, there was no sign.
'She's probably got her feet up in the Staff Room,' he told me, 'having a G&T and a rest from teaching all those surprisingly mature students. We'll come back later...'
With this we headed further into the village in search of Doc Martin's Surgery.
I'm afraid Wilson still has a very tenuous grasp of the difference between Real Life and TV Drama.
When we arrived at Port Isaac (the pretty Cornish village that pretends to be 'Port Wen' in the Doc Martin TV series) we parked on the outskirts and walked the short distance to the village.
Before we set off, Wilson circled the car park looking for any BUFFALO PICTURES vans (that being the name of the Doc Martin Production company) but came up empty.
I'm quite relieved, actually — there would have been a measure of embarrassment involved if the Director and crew had been there and W had started performing impromptu auditions.
Walking down the lane to the village, Wilson suddenly and unexpectedly shouted at the top of his lungs, 'Prepare yourself, Port Wen — I am amongst you!' Several people turned and stared, and I blushed a little.
As we approached the outskirts of the little port, we started to recognise some of the buildings from the show, remarking on them to each other...
Once he and his family were fully protected from marauding lions, Wilson settled down on the bed to check his email.
He hasn't received any response from the Editor of The Daily Telegraph about his job application to be a columnist, but he took this disappointment philosophically.
'I'm not really surprised,' he told me. 'After that Mendacious Brexiteer Boris Johnson, they probably think I'm overqualified!'
Following several minutes of earnest tapping on his (my) iPad he announced that he had just sent a further email to the Editor, asking to be considered for the position of Daily Telegraph Surfing Correspondent.
But tomorrow is another day. We shall visit 'Port Wen' and Wilson will possibly meet his future fiancée Caroline Katz and snag a starring role in an episode of Doc Martin.
I think 'possibly' is the key word here...
