THREE LIONS ON MY SHIRT

Wilson was pretty miffed yesterday when he saw the football shirt The Bees have designed for their team, The Uckfield Bees.

He ran into the kitchen and leapt up onto the worktop, brandishing a red-and-gold T-shirt, spluttering, 'I can't believe you did that! I've already designed this shirt, and I'm in the middle of very delicate negotiations over a Sponsorship Deal and Grotesquely-Overpriced Replica Shirts...'

Billi's fur began to bristle a bit, but Polly replied calmly, 'Well never mind – we've got ages to sort this out. No-one but an idiot would even consider playing football in the Winter!' 

She shuddered, before adding, 'Just think of the cold, the wet, the mud... the washing! UGH!' while Billi and the Johnson Brothers nodded wisely in agreement.

I asked W about the 'Three Lions' – he replied, 'They're Lion Ants, New Dad! Lion ANTS! Have I taught you nothing?'