Wilson is searching in his room...

What with having the Freedom of Uckfield and being in the paper, Wilson says his mother, Mrs Vermilingua, will be very proud of him, and he really will write to her 'some time soon' and tell her all about it. 

After reading and re-reading the paper about thirty times, he spent the rest of the afternoon rummaging around in his bedroom looking for something.

Wilson is in the paper! Again!

I heard the Uckfield Examiner being delivered this morning, then Wilson picking it up from the doormat. A moment later he came running in to me with it, shouting, 'New Dad! New Dad! I'm front page news!' 

And indeed, he was… this time, thank goodness, not due to being apprehended by a security guard.

Something blue...

After a few minutes in the mayormobile we found ourselves approaching home. As we turned the corner, we noticed some workmen standing around outside the house, then Wilson saw that something had been fixed to the front wall...

What happens next...

We were whisked off in the mayoral limo to the outskirts of Uckfield and stopped in the middle of nowhere. The chauffeur got out and opened the rear door so the Mayor and we could get out. Wilson whispered to me nervously, 'Is this a gangland hit? Will I ever see my mum, Mrs Vermilingua, again?'

The Mayor led us a little way along the country lane in which we'd parked, then turned Wilson round so he could see the sign at the side of the road. 

I took a photo of W standing proudly in front of the sign, as you can see. Then we all got back into the limo (which W has started calling the Mayormobile) and were driven off again. 

While I'm emailing this, W is telling the Mayor all about his goldfish, Diesel, and the Mayor is nodding and smiling. 

We meet the Mayor! In his parlour!

We've just met the mayor in his parlour! Brilliant! He shook hands with Wilson and congratulated him on his Cultural Mystery Tour of Uckfield and the work he has done to promote Uckfield on the world stage in the fields of catering, philosophy and medicine. 

Wilson thanked him gravely, then told him the anteater joke he'd told me -- but happily without the embarrassing after-effects. The Mayor laughed appreciatively and put his arm round W's shoulders. Then Wilson asked whether there was a cash prize at all? 

What could have been an awkward moment was defused when the Mayor laughed again and told him what he had for Wilson was something money couldn't buy.

We were then ushered by the Mayor into the Mayoral Limousine. The three of us sat together in the back (where I'm emailing this from now) and were driven off…

I'll let you know what happens next as soon as I can.

Wilson plans a book

Wilson has just told me that he's going to write a book of anteater jokes for after-dinner speakers; this is, apparently, a completely untapped market and will make him rich. I asked him if he knows a lot of anteater jokes, he confessed that he only knows two -- and one of them is very rude. Hmmm -- this has the makings of a extremely slim volume.

Still, we're off to the Mayor's Parlour tomorrow, that should give W something else to think about. I think I'll warn W not to tell the Mayor his rude anteater joke. Or his clean one, if he's going to roll around on the floor laughing at it himself, as he did yesterday. 

Wilson tells me a joke

Wow, what a beautiful sunny morning today! In response to the psychiatrist's advice, we've been for a walk in the country. Wilson agreed as soon as I suggested it, which is a bit of a surprise; whenever I suggest doing something he doesn't want to do, like stacking the dish washer, he turns slowly to face me, raises his eyebrows and says, 'Hmmm, that doesn't sound like very anteaterly behaviour!' Today, though, we both put on our wooly hats and our scarves and set off to the woods.

It was lovely out, but very cold, and we were both glad to get back. We sat in front of the fire drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and toasted ants sprinkles. 

While we were sitting there, Wilson announced that he was going to tell me a joke. After a number of false starts and forgetting of the punchline (it seems that he's not a natural joke-teller, or maybe it was just performance anxiety) he finally asked me: 

"Why don't anteaters get ill?"

Me: "I don't know; why don't anteaters get ill?"

W: "Because they're full of... antybodies!" He could hardly tell me the punchline for laughing - a bit of hot chocolate actually came out of his nose, and he slid out of his chair on to the floor, helpless with laughter. 

He thinks this is the funniest joke in the world, ever. Hours later and he is still giggling quietly to himself, his shoulders shaking as he tries to suppress his mirth.

An invitation for Wilson

Wilson is still brooding over his Valentine's Day card. He hadn't noticed until re-examining it this morning that the envelope was addressed to Boo Vermilingua, his real, birth name. 'This person must be the daughter of someone who knows my mother, Mrs Vermilingua' he mused, 'Or perhaps a childhood friend.'

This puzzle paled into insignificance, however, when he opened today's mail and found a letter from the Mayor of Uckfield inviting him to the Mayor's Parlour in a few days time. Reading through the invitation, he told me, 'It says I can bring a guest or a Significant Other -- I suppose you'd better come with me, New Dad.'

I wouldn't want to miss this for the world…

Care plan

The goldfish care books have arrived and Wilson is working his way through them, taking copious notes and drawing up Shortlists and Action Plans with his coloured pens. 

When he read that goldfish can be fed on ants' eggs he became very excited and pointed out that they could share meals together. I can't see the goldfish getting fat that way!

I noticed that one of W's lists is of films the goldfish is not allowed to watch; so far, just Jaws, The Little Mermaid and Finding Nemo!

Settling in

Wilson hasn't moved away from his fish all day - he watches its every move and frets about whether he's too warm/cold/hungry/bored etc. The poor fish must think he's got a stalker! 

I've ordered him some books about looking after goldfish, which I hope will help.

A new friend for Wilson

Putting the irritation(!) of yesterday's events behind him, Wilson and I headed off to the aquarium shop. W has had time to think about the various fish he saw on his last visit, and it didn't take him long to make up his mind today. 

I think he's very pleased with the purchase of his new friend -- during the drive home he held the bag up to the window so his fish could see where he was going, and I found him talking to it later!

Love hurts ♥

This morning Wilson received a Valentine's Day card. Inside, the message read, "I love you more than ants…" signed from a Secret Admirer and followed by five kisses. To my surprise, he seemed a bit annoyed! 

I think his irritation partly stems from the fact that the image on the front is based on his drawing, and partly because I hadn't told him anything about Valentine's Day. 'This is a massive money-making opportunity, and you didn't tell me about it!' he complained. 

I tried to distract him by quizzing him about who his secret admirer might be. 'Someone with the hacking skills to get into my iPad and steal my copyrighted drawing, I would imagine' he replied testily. 

I explained that if she had used the image only once, to send to him, it would probably fall under the heading of Fair Dealing, but he was not to be mollified. Then I suggested that someone with such hacking skills and disregard for the law must be a little like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This gave him something to think about: a girl anteater admirer resembling the heroine of his favourite novel...

All this has put him in a bit of a preoccupied mood, which has quite disrupted our planned visit to the aquarium shop to select his goldfish...

Something fishy...

After the excitement of our trip to the film studios, Wilson is feeling a sense of anticlimax, so we've just been to the aquarium shop to choose his goldfish. 

W had a lot of trouble making up his mind, so we've arranged to go back again tomorrow to make his final decision. 

As well as a big selection of goldfish they had a lot of more exotic fish… but I've put my foot down about an octopus. 

'That's a wrap!'

The last thing we did at the studios was to be taken out to a huge warehouse on the 'back lot' where they keep some of their old scenery. There they showed Wilson a background from MOON with one of the lunar rovers. Then a continuity girl came in and took Wilson's photo standing in front of it and holding a clapper board, and they let him bring the clapper board home as a souvenir of his visit. 

Ever since the trip, Wilson has been running round the house with his clapper board and an old Sony Hi8 camcorder shouting things like, 'Mark it!', 'Silence on the Set!' and 'That's a wrap - well done everybody!'. 

Clapper loader

All Wilson talks about now is being a Movie Magnate when he grows up. 

I know for a fact that he'd rather be a cameraman or a director, but as he says, 'That's no way to become a millionaire before you're seven!' When the time comes for him to make a decision I think I'll insist he has some career counselling.

Here's a photo of him working the Clapper Board during a real production. We've no idea what was going on as everything seemed very confused, but even the technicians seemed to be having fun!

That's a Wrap!

What a day! 

We've just arrived home after our very exciting trip to the film studio. One of the Producers showed us round, and while we were there Wilson got to operate the cameras, and also do some other exciting stuff. I'll be posting more photos of that over the next couple of days!

We both had a fabulous time seeing behind the scenes of a real film production, and I think Wilson has taken on board that movies are just stories, the people are just actors and nothing is 'real'. 

We're in the VIP room!

Wilson and I have just arrived at the studios and we're both pretty excited! 

Right now we're in the VIP Reception area drinking latte macchiatos while a runner gets us our Access All Areas passes. Brilliant!

Once we've got our passes we'll be visiting the studios and the control rooms, and watching a real movie being shot. More photos tomorrow!

Moon trip

Now we're preparing for our trip to the film studios where 'Moon' was made. W is very excited, even though I've explained that this is a tour of the studios, not an extended job interview for a film star. 

Wilson insisted on doing the studio tour before he got his goldfish, so that it wouldn't have to be left alone all day. I don't know how interactive he's expecting his fish to be that it can't be left alone for a little while - I hope he's not disappointed that it won't talk to him.

Anyway, I've ordered a few books from Amazon with titles like 'Caring For Your First Pet', 'Goldfish Husbandry For Beginners' etc.

A mysterious letter arrives

This morning I received a letter from Uckfield Town Council. I opened it with some trepidation, fearing it was an increase in the Council Tax, but it turned out to be a personal letter from the Mayor of Uckfield. 

Apparently a friend of the Mayor went on Wilson's Magical Cultural Tour of Uckfield, and told him it was amazing, just what the town needed to encourage tourism, and now the Mayor is planning something very special to reward and publicise Wilson and his 'good works'. 

He told me in the letter what he's planning, but I won't tell Wilson -- I'll just make certain that he's available come the day. He's going to LOVE it! I'm pretty excited myself, as it's quite an honour, especially for someone who is, technically at least, non-human.

Better just hope the Mayor never finds out what went on at the Haunted Uckfield tour!!!

Final decision

Although I can see the funny side, I'm still a little bit cross after yesterday's Temporary Tattoos incident, but this didn't prevent Wilson thinking this was an appropriate time to tell me that he's reached his final decision. What he'd really like is a goldfish. 

"A goldfish? Just a goldfish?" I asked.

"Just a goldfish" he confirmed. 

"But what about the pony? The camel? The goat and the donkey?" I spluttered.

"Oh, they were just a bargaining position. I didn't think you'd really let me have a goldfish, so I let you negotiate me down."

I feel that I've been played… but I'm so relieved by the final outcome that I just don't care.