Wilson tries to promote his new book

This morning Wilson, hung-over and dehydrated, looks a lot less Noël Coward and a lot more Hunter S Thompson as he sips his triple espresso with paracetamol. 

'I've still got Writers' Block, New Dad,' he complained. 'Also my Literary Agent couldn't get me onto The Alan Titchmarsh Show, nor Loose Women. Not even The One Show.'

'Really?' I asked, trying to sound surprised.

'She said the best she could do was get me an appearance on Dickinson's Real Deal, as long as I had something old to sell.'

He buried his face in his paws and sighed.

Writers' Block

Wilson, after starting work yesterday on his novel 'Postcards From The Zoo,' is now suffering from Writers' Block. He's spent all day in the tumble dryer with his Editor (Antony), Researcher (Tiny Toy) and a bottle of Ant Gin. Occasionally he will stick his head out to shout, 'The Pressure! It's Intolerable, Dear Boy!'

Meanwhile his Literary Agent (Polly-B) is on the phone trying to arrange an appearance for him on The Alan Titchmarsh Show to promote his book. 

Hopefully after he's finished writing it. 

Noel Coward

Unable to sleep after the excitement of last night's bonfire, Wilson started reading Carrie 'Princess Leia' Fisher's book 'Postcards From The Edge.' This morning he has decided to write a book based on the postcards he sent me while on holiday with his Mum, Mrs Vermilingua.

He's working on it now, and tells me it will be a 'funny, brash and biting novel called "Postcards From The Zoo" and will apparently be quite like "Postcards From The Edge," but with more pictures.' He is confident that it will be 'a sure-fire best seller, as long as it gets the right promotion.'

He's writing it in his dressing-gown because he thinks it makes him look, as he puts it, 'well Noël Coward.' I just hope he doesn't start smoking a pipe and calling me 'Dear Boy!'

At least this should keep him out of mischief for a couple of weeks, maybe longer!

Bonfire Night!

Wilson is in the kitchen finishing up his Pumpkin Soup With Ants and home-made Ant Croutons after what he is calling 'The Best Bonfire Night Ever!'

Wilson builds his bonfire

Wilson came home yesterday with a lot of wood for his Firework Night Bonfire — more than I expected. 

Much, MUCH more than I expected. 

Still, he's stacked it neatly in the garden, so I suppose it's alright. 

I just hope he doesn't make his bonfire too big, what with the FBU strikes…

Bonfire Night preparations

The house seems very quiet now that Byron has gone home. I enjoyed having him here, and I think it was good for Wilson… but I can begin to see why their mother, Mrs Vermilingua, gets through so much Gin!

Anyway, the house is quieter still at present as Wilson has gone out to gather wood for his Fireworks Night bonfire. 

Byron goes home

This morning I drove Byron and his suitcase full of Trick-or-Treat goodies back to the zoo. 

As he climbed into the car he said, 'Thank you very much for having me, Wilson's New Dad.' Oh, he's so polite!

I'm sure he enjoyed his time here, but I think he was beginning to miss his mum, Mrs Vermilingua, and all his brothers and sisters. 

After we'd left Byron at the zoo with his family, Wilson was very quiet on the journey home. Now that we're back, though, his thoughts have turned to: Bonfire Night!

Wilson and Byron divide up their booty...

Now that Hallowe'en finally over, Wilson and Byron divided up their booty. 

They gave a few sweets each to Polly-B, Antony and Tiny Toy and put some aside for the sTone Brothers. Then Wilson said that, apart from a few of his favourites, Byron could have the rest to take home and share with his many siblings.

I thought that was a kind gesture. Moreover, it will avoid last year's embarrassing incident when Wilson tried to sell his Hallowe'en plunder back to the neighbours from whom he'd got them!

I wonder whether I should give the zoo dentist a call to warn him of what's on its way?

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

Trick or Treat!

Wilson spent yesterday evening telling Halloween ghost stories to Byron. When bedtime came, they were both so scared that they had to sleep in my bed. You can probably guess how much sleep any of us got.

Anyway, here they both are ready to go Trick-or-Treating in the neighbourhood. I shall accompany them just to see that they don't get up to mischief or into trouble, but Wilson has given me strict instructions to keep out of sight, saying 'We're not babies, New Dad! Well, Byron is, obviously, but I'm six years old!' 

Waiting for Halloween...

Now that Wilson's Hallowe'en preparations are complete, he spent today sorting through his socks while Byron amused himself playing with Antony and Tiny Toy. 

I think they're both just trying to pass the time until tomorrow.

W has promised to tell Byron some ghost stories later, to get him in the Hallowe'en mood. 

I hope they're not too scary — I don't want to have nightmares.

Pumpkin Soup - the secret recipe

The boys have been in the kitchen for most of the day making pumpkin soup from the carved-out insides of their prize-winning pumpkins. 

Wilson says that it's his Secret Recipe, but as far as I can see it's just all the old favourites boiled up together: Ant Gin, Ants, Onion, Chillies and Stock all stirred into a Pumpkin base. Not forgetting an Ant Garnish, of course!

They're planning to eat it when they return from Trick-or-Treating on Thursday, to warm them up.

I think Wilson is expecting Byron to do the washing-up. 

Sibling Rivalry

This morning the time came for me to judge the Best Carved Pumpkin competition. Both boys carried their entries into the garden, set them down on the lawn and looked at me expectantly.

I had been dreading this moment, as someone was certain to be disappointed. However, as the two entries had been carved in such contrasting styles I decided to award two prizes — one for the Cutest Pumpkin, one for the Scariest. 

Everyone seemed satisfied, although Wilson complained that there should have been an additional prize for the Largest Pumpkin, while Byron argued for a Smallest Pumpkin prize, and another prize for the pumpkin carved by the youngest competitor. 

Sibling rivalry is a terrible thing.

Richard Feynman

Last night Wilson checked with me whether the clocks went forward or backward, then went round the house adjusting them all. Byron saw him doing this, assumed it was a game, and proceeded to adjust them all as well. Including the ones W had already done. By random amounts…

This morning there was a very competitive air in the kitchen as the pumpkins were carved. Byron has gone for the winsome look, while Wilson has opted for downright scary! I am supposed to judge them later, which I'm not looking forward to. I'm guessing that Dead Heat for Joint First Place won't cut it…

Artist of the framed print in the spare bedroom is: theoretical physicist Richard Feynman.

No one correctly identified him as the artist of this cute sketch!

The Pagan roots of Hallowe'en explained

Wilson explained all about Hallowe'en to Byron. He told him that it was a pagan festival invented in pre-Christian times by the Hallmark company in America, and that the point of it was to terrify your neighbours by dressing up then threatening them into giving you sweets. He also said that the god of the festival is called Jack, and he is a pumpkin. 

Byron seemed somewhat puzzled by this explanation, but W just shrugged and said that he didn't make the rules up, he just took the sweets.

Then they went into the village to choose some pumpkins in Waitrose. 

The earwigs have gone!

Taking advantage of a rare dry spell, Wilson took Byron round to the Folly to meet the Earwig Family in the Bee Hotel. He was very surprised to find the hotel empty once again, the earwigs having vacated it! 

Byron found a tiny handwritten note addressed to 'Deer Mista Wislon' in which the earwigs thanked W for allowing them to stay in the hotel rent-free and announcing that they had decided to resume their nomadic life-style. 'Wunderin is in our blud.' the note explained, 'Xept that we don hav no blud. Eneway thanc yu.'

"Barely literate,' Wilson reflected, 'but kindly meant! I wish them well in their travels, they are a maligned species.'

The two anteaters then returned to the house, where Wilson explained the concept of Hallowe'en, which is not celebrated in the zoo and of which Byron knew nothing.

Another unsuccessful introduction...

Following yesterday's anticlimactic meeting with Diesel the Goldfish, Wilson was pretty sure today's introduction would be more successful, so he was full of confidence as he took Byron into the garden to meet the sTone Brothers, sTony and sToneye.

Byron immediately burst into tears and ran indoors. Since then he has refused to venture into the garden alone. 

The thing is, Wilson has no idea how scary the sTone Brothers look if you've not been properly prepared. Or even if you have been, come to that — they still make me nervous…

Byron is not impressed

Today Byron was introduced to Diesel the Goldfish. Wilson regards Diesel as a wonderful and exotic pet, but to his annoyance Byron was not greatly impressed. 

'There are much bigger and brighter fish in the aquarium at the zoo' he remarked to W 'and I'm on first-name terms with many of them.'

I think Diesel might have been a little bit disappointed too, though it's very hard to be sure with fish. 

Ant Race

Today dawned chilly and damp, but not actually raining, so I've sent the boys into the garden to play. They're out there now playing 'Ant Race' which is a highly competitive game in which each player tries to eat the most ants in a given time. 

This being mid-October I think they'll be lucky to find any ants at all, and in fact it looks as though Byron has fallen asleep... which will give W the option of smacking his lips together noisily and claiming a victory. 

In anteater circles this is not 'cheating' so much as 'gamesmanship'. Apparently.

No-one has correctly guessed the identity of the artist of the drawing in the Spare Bedroom photo a few days ago — I'll give you a couple more days before I tell you the answer. 

Playing indoors on a rainy day...

It's been so wet today that the boys have been playing indoors in the living room. Tag, Piggy-Back Rides and WWF Wrestling are their favourites, and they do play very nicely together. The occasional argument breaks out of course ('No I'll be Hulk Hogan, you can be Dwayne The Rock!') but nothing serious. And as I always say, broken ornaments can be replaced. 

And furniture. 

And electrical appliances, I suppose...

I hope it's dry enough for them to play outdoors tomorrow!

Here's the link to Wilson's recipe in the Waitrose "Marvellous Mince" page: 

https://www.facebook.com/Waitrose?v=app_272699512828519&rest=1&app_data=essay%3D309975

He'd be very pleased if you clicked the Like button!

Meeting W's family

Today Wilson introduced Byron to Antony, Tiny Toy and Polly-B. This is a bit delicate, since the last thing W wants is for any of his soft toys to decide they'd rather go to live at the zoo with his brother and his family.

Yesterday, Waitrose published Wilson's recipe for Ant Lasagne in their on-line "Marvellous Mince Handbook" page — W is SO proud! To celebrate, he says he'll cook this very dish for tonight's dinner, and Byron will be his sous-chef in charge of ants. Mmmm.

Incidentally, who recognised the framed sketch in yesterday's 'spare bedroom' photo? It's by a person who's very famous for something other than art. Any guesses?