We're off! Hooray!

Today dawned damp, cold and miserable, but Wilson has been like a little ball of sunshine! He was up at first light, carried his suitcase out onto the drive and is now sitting in the car waiting for me. 

He has promised to write and to email me every day with news of what he's been up to!

We'll be setting off in a few minutes...

Wilson is overexcited!

Wilson was up before dawn this morning, having realised he'd forgotten to pack Drinking Chocolate, Squirty Cream and Marshmallows.  

He is VERY excited -- I don't know how he'll pass the time until we set off tomorrow without exploding!

Packing for his holiday

Wilson is busy getting everything together to pack in his suitcase. 

He's decided to leave Antony and the as-yet-unnamed micro toy anteater here, in case his numerous half- and step-siblings think they are a gift for them. He's leaving his Wellington boots here for the same reason, but is taking his (i.e. my) iPad, so he can keep in touch.

He is also taking his Polaroid camera and has promised to take lots of photos.

I've given him a packet of spicy dried ants as a small gift for his mother, and some crayons and colouring books for all his siblings.

I bring Wilson some good news!

I've received a very nice letter from Wilson's mum, in which she says she would be delighted to have him to stay for a few days. She mentioned that she'd been afraid something like this might happen as 'little Boo has always been very driven and intense,' adding that she was sure some 'home cooking and cuddling will put him right in no time.'

I went to the tumble dryer and shook Wilson's shoulder gently and asked him if he'd like to go and stay with him mum for a little while. He opened one eye and said, 'My Mum? Mrs Vermilingua? Yes, I'd like that!' 

I left him in the dryer, but a little while ago I heard him rummaging through his stuff getting ready to pack.

I'd like to thank all of you who sent get-well wishes to Wilson -- we both appreciate your kind thoughts.

Wilson is still no better...

Wilson came out of the tumble dryer this morning and ate a light breakfast of Weetabix with ant sprinkles, then went back to sleep on the sofa. He wouldn't even drink any coffee, saying that the memory was 'too painful.'

I hope the postman brings a message from his mother today…

Wilson is still poorly

Wilson is still not right: he sleeps all the time instead of most of the time, he's off his food, even his favourites, and he won't come out of the tumble dryer even to watch tv.

My first thought was to take him to the vet, or maybe back to the animal psychiatrist, but then I remembered that they always tell me the same thing: it's nothing physical, he's just living a life not altogether suitable for an anteater.

So, I've reached a decision. I've written to his mum, Mrs Vermilingua, at the zoo, explaining the problem and asking her whether she could have Wilson to stay for a few days, to get back in touch with his family roots and his anteater origins. 

I haven't mentioned this to W yet, I'll wait and see what Mrs V says first. 

Ennui...

I didn't mean to knock the wind out of Wilson's sails when I refused to be on 24-hour standby to deliver coffee to his customers, but an air of ennui has descended on him. 

He's spent the last couple of days sitting listlessly in the tumble dryer with Antony, with no real interest in anything. This is so unlike his usual enthusiastic, earnest self.

Oh dear. I shall have to try to think of something to cheer him up...

I don't like the sound of the details...

Wilson's plan is to put adverts on the local radio stations and newspapers, offering to deliver "the perfect cup of coffee. Any time. Day or night." He says loads of people on Twitter had been asking for such a service, and who better to provide it than him?

There was a period of silence, which I broke by asking who would be delivering the coffees.

'Me, of course!' he exclaimed, 'I'll go to the customer's house or office in the car, or "coffeemobile" as it will be called, then I hop out, deliver the coffee and collect the money!'

'We both know you're too young to drive, so… ?' 

'Well, you'll do the driving, obviously! You'll be the driver, while I will make the coffee and work the SatNav!'

I thought this over for a few microseconds, then asked, 'So at any time, day or night, I might have to jump into the car and drive you to a customer's house?'

'No, no, you jump into the coffeemobile!' he interrupted.

'Whatever,' I continued, 'it's the any time day or night part that's worrying me.'

'I haven't finished designing the logo for the cups - that's what's worrying me!' he replied.

Wilson's plan is revealed!

This morning, Wilson invited me into the kitchen for a cup of coffee… and to reveal his new business plan. 

On the counter was the largest coffee machine I've ever seen outside of a restaurant, and the worktops were all covered with stacks of paper cups. 

Wilson proudly handed me a paper cup containing what he described as a 'Wilson Special NY Triple Macchiato.' 

I sat down to drink my coffee while W explained how this would make us 'Richer than Richard Branson, the 19th Richest Person in the UK!'

Wilson still behaving mysteriously

With Xmas and the New Year celebrations out of the way, life is returning to normal. For Wilson, this appears to mean spending a lot of time in the kitchen with his mysterious cardboard boxes, while I am forbidden to enter. 

He's told me that 'All will be revealed tomorrow… or the next day.' 

It's difficult not to fear the worst…

Happy New Year!

Wilson has revealed his New Year's Resolutions 2013, posting them on the fridge for all to see. There are fewer than last year, as he thinks they will be easier to observe. I guess number six is mainly down to me, anyway.

I've started using the new monthly Journals that W gave me for Xmas, and also trying to write more neatly. You can see for yourself when I put January on-line next month!

CHECK THIS OUT!

What with the run-up to Xmas, December has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the twelfth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: DECEMBER 2012 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as Xmas Pudding with Ants!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_december_2012

Preparing for a late night

As I write this, Wilson is sitting in tumble dryer drawing up his New Year's Resolutions. He's giving each one careful consideration in order to increase his hit rate for 2013.

The other reason he's still in bed is that I promised him he can stay up until midnight tonight to see in the New Year with a toast of Ant Gin, so he's resting in preparation for a late night.

MOON, the movie that caused us so much trouble, was on BBC2 last night. We both knew it was one, but neither of us mentioned it! 

Relief all round!

New Year Resolutions time again

With 2013 fast approaching, Wilson has been checking on his last year's New Years Resolutions, to see how well he did. 

He's awarded himself three out of eight… which is much better than I've ever managed!

Snubbed by The Queen

Wilson was very disconcerted today to learn that he had yet again been snubbed by HM The Queen who has apparently decided to ignore his repeated requests to 'regularise' his OBE in the New Year Honours list. 

He says he is considering returning his OBE and becoming a Republican. 

I pointed out that he could hardly return his OBE if he didn't actually have it, but W dismissed my objection as 'a mere detail,' saying that the OBE was 'temporarily misplaced, probably under the sofa.'

Wilson gets it up!

Today there was a light breeze, so Wilson and I headed once again for the park. This time the kite flew like a bird, and W really enjoyed himself! 

He said that it reminded him of his time as a pilot, before he was cruelly grounded. But reminded him in a good way.

Earthbound!

The weather today was fine, so Wilson and I took his kite to the park. We had an energetic time running up and down, but the total lack of wind ensured that his kite remained firmly earthbound. W is certain the kite is faulty.

The exercise we got was good for both of us, following our Xmas over-indulgence. Also, I remembered the advice the psychiatrist gave us after he had seen W: that we should spend more time together, get more exercise and fresh air, and Wilson should do things more appropriate for an anteater. 

Well, if kite flying isn't appropriate, I don't know what is!

Boxing Day

We had a lovely day yesterday! 

Wilson's presents included:

a kite

a box of dried ants

an ant farm

and some computer games:

'Empire of the Ants'

'Antbuster'

'SimAnt'

Antony received a small toy anteater.

Wilson gave me 12 new journals, a pack of top-markers and a box of rubber bands, which I thought was a very thoughtful gift.

In the evening we played Twister, and W's specially-adapted version of Mousetrap: AntTrap!

Happy Xmas Everyone!

Wilson and I would like to wish ALL our friends, family and followers a VERY happy Xmas! 

There won't be any updates tomorrow because we'll both be relaxing*, but look out for us again on Boxing Day! 

*drunk

Wilson's cards arrive

Yesterday the postman delivered the Xmas cards from Wilson's family. 

As he predicted, they were all identical. This is apparently a ploy his mother, Mrs Vermilingua, employs to make sure her numerous children don't squabble over who has the best card. W, for the same reason, sends everyone in his family an identical card.

However, W was disturbed by one unexpected card; it was of a different design, bore a very torrid message and was signed 'From your secret admirer XXXXX.' 

He wouldn't let me read the message as it was 'too embarrassing' but he consoled himself by observing that this year, 'whoever this person is, she hasn't stolen any of my artwork. Unlike the Valentines Day card!'

Can romance be in the air for young Wilson? The mystery continues…