Iceberg ahead!

Today Wilson showed me a still from the scene where the Titanic actually strikes the iceberg. Apparently Antony is supporting the iceberg in this shot, but I promised that I would never have noticed that and I had to admit that it looks totally authentic. 

No, really, I had to admit it!

The iMax Experience

Well, who would have thought that Crawley had its own iMax Cinema?! Wilson and I have been to see Titanic: The Movie in iMax 3D. Never having been to the cinema before, W was very excited and made me buy far too much popcorn in the foyer. I shall probably have to see about increasing my mortgage to pay for that. 

The film was very long, and in spite of his excitement I'm sure W dozed off a couple of times, and also his 3D glasses kept falling off, but I think the film affected him.

W was very quiet as we left the cinema and during the drive home. Eventually I asked him what he thought of it, and he told me it was quite good in parts and generally better than he'd expected, though of course, 'not without its faults!'

Expanding on this, W explained earnestly that in film production there were many pitfalls a first-time producer/director like Mr James Cameron might experience.

The difficulties of professional film making...

Wilson tells me that he is experiencing continuity problems during the filming of Titanic: The Film. In particular, he has to dry off his model Titanic very carefully after each 'sinking' scene. 

He also says that the Kissing scenes are especially difficult in a one-man show, and are causing Antony (camerman) many problems.

However, he has shown me some very impressive footage of The Titanic steaming at full speed across the Atlantic Ocean. He and Antony filmed this at Hove Lagoon in front of a crowd of bemused onlookers.

Opening scenes...

Wilson has grudgingly consented to let me see some 'rushes' from Titanic: The Film. He has tricked out the iMac look like a cinema screen so I could get the right contextual feel of the footage I was shown. 

After we'd watched the majestic opening scenes of the Titanic sailing out of Belfast Dock W asked me what I thought of the special effects, as he was a bit worried that his arm might be visible in one or two shots. I assured him that I'd barely noticed his arm until he pointed it out.

A late Easter Egg arrives...

Wilson ate all his Easter Eggs yesterday, and today he is a little poorly - he says he has a Chocolate Hangover and is going to have to de-tox for the next few days. Since he does all the cooking, I assume this means I shall be de-toxing too. 

He's just been out for some fresh air and found another Easter Egg, this time in the front garden. He rushed back inside to show it to me and, notwithstanding his headache and nausea, immediately opened it. Inside, he found a piece of paper bearing the message, "I still love you more than ants…" followed by five kisses. 

W snorted, and put the egg on the table next to Diesel; then he sank into his armchair and stared at it, broodingly.

As today is a Bank Holiday, W has let Antony off filming duties. I suspect this has more to do with Wilson's upset stomach and headache than a generous gesture towards Antony.

Easter Sunday at last...

In spite of the cold, misty weather I took Wilson into the garden for his Easter-Egg Hunt, and once he'd found it he was very pleased with his main Egg! 

Unfortunately the ants had eaten away at the chocolate from the inside, but they hadn't consumed much and W said that it made the ants taste of chocolate anyway. Apparently in Costa Rica, chocolate-fed ants are a real delicacy!

ROBBED!

For years now I've enjoyed the University Boat Race. Wilson only found out about it last night, but since then has been looking forward to seeing 16 men pitched muscle-to-muscle against each other. When the race started, he was astonished to see only two boats - he'd been expecting 16 rowers in 16 boats.

I've always supported Oxford, and W chose to do so too, because 'they have a nicer colour', so we both feel totally robbed by the result. What a fiasco!

I'm just getting Wilson's Easter Egg ready for tomorrow. It's a Thornton's Dark Chocolate egg, filled with ants. 

You'd be surprised how difficult it is to make ants go somewhere they don't want to go - I keep telling them it's only until tomorrow, but still they keep escaping from the egg.

Last minute shopping

I've just had a call from Security at Tesco. I thought Wilson was in the shed/studio filming Titanic: The Film, but it seems he'd snuck into Uckfield to do some last-minute Easter Egg shopping...

Filming begins!

Production of Titanic: The Film has started, but all is not going well. 

Antony (Cameraman) has been made to stand outside because of 'artistic differences' with the Director. (Bottom LH corner, if you look closely - does he look contrite yet?) 

When he's had a chance to 'think about what he's done' he will be allowed back inside to continue filming.

Preparations for filming

Wilson has now taken over the garden shed to use as The Wilson Vermilingua OBE Film Studios. He's thrown out all the useful things, like the lawn mower, garden tools, recliners and so on - all of my things, basically - and he's inside building scenery and 'rigging lights.'

Notwithstanding all the work on the shed, we did make time to go shopping, where W was very excited by the amount of Easter Eggs on display. He's really looking forward to Easter.

Wilson has another big idea(!)

Wilson has been re-thinking his objection to CDs being too old-fashioned, and now he wonders whether he could open a museum of 'old-fashioned things like CDs' to raise funds for the Sloth Orphanage. 

I asked him what sort of things he could put in his museum apart from CDs and he told me, 'Old stuff! Stuff people don't use any more, like handsaws and floppy disks. TVs that aren't flat. VHS tapes and newspapers.  I shall call it The Wilson Vermilingua OBE Museum of Old Stuff.' 

I objected that he sometimes bought newspapers himself, so they couldn't be so out-of-date. 'I only buy the papers when I'm in them,' he replied, 'to put in my clippings library.'

Because he is so young, anything more that a year or so old is 'antique' to him, but most people have still got things like that in their sheds, so I can't see them shelling out hard cash to look at W's display of it. It would be like a visit to the local recycling centre!

April fool...

I purposely hadn't mentioned April Fools Day traditions to Wilson, so I was surprised yesterday to find myself strangely disorientated. Throughout the morning he made tiny adjustments to all the clocks - each too small to notice - until I was shocked to find it was actually early evening and dusk was falling, and I had not yet had lunch! 

I dropped a hint about the CDs, and Wilson was pretty scathing. In fact, he said, 'CDs are so totally 20th Century. Are you thinking of opening a museum or what?'

I pointed out that he had brought out two CDs himself, but he replied that the physical media were 'merely to promote MP3 sales.'

Titanic!

Wilson has been reading articles about The Titanic in this month's National Geographic Magazine, and while we were in Eastbourne he asked me to take his photo as he recreated an iconic scene from the movie. 

Since then, W has binned the Jerry can scheme (phew!) and decided instead to re-create Titanic: The Movie. He has has already produced the poster and hopes to begin shooting the movie soon. To keep costs to a minimum, he intends playing all the parts himself, and right now he's sitting in the living room fashioning a Captain Edward John Smith beard out of tumble-dryer fluff. 

Antony, Wilson's plush toy anteater, will be chief cameraman; W says he learned a lot on the movie studio tour, and he's certain Antony will be up to the job. As long as the camera doesn't have to move, presumably.

Wilson has not actually seen the film, so he probably doesn't know about the nude scene…

A day in the sun

We visited Eastbourne yesterday, to make the most of the lovely weather. I had a fish & Chip lunch on the Pier, but vegetarian Wilson had only chips, leaving him a bit hungry… which led to an unpleasantness in the ornamental gardens: 

W spotted some 'well juicy' ants living underneath the pansies, and went to hoover them up. A very officious gardener shouted at me to 'get that dog off the grass and put it on a lead.' W naturally assumed that he was referring to someone else, so his feelings were unhurt and what could have been a very nasty scene was narrowly avoided.

Driving home, we noticed several queues of cars at filling stations, and I could see W was getting thoughtful. Suddenly he shouted, 'Jerry cans! I need to corner the market in Jerry cans and sell them at a huge profit! The money will all be invested in teddy bears for the sloth orphanage, so some good will come out of this suffering!' 

In spite of the sunny weather, my heart sank a little…

Birthday musings

Maybe for Wilson's birthday I could Sponsor a Sloth in his name? Or perhaps he'd like a boxed set of Bob Dylan or Leonard Cohen CDs? 

One of his friends has suggested a box set of Hugh Laurie's non-House work. I was doubtful at first, but now I think it might be a good thing to widen W's view of Laurie as an actor -- I'm pretty sure Wilson believes he really is a doctor called House and the show is a documentary.

Birthday problem

I'm wondering what to get Wilson for his birthday - it's difficult to buy for an anteater who, whatever he wants, just orders it himself from Amazon on my plastic. My only hope is to get him something he hasn't thought of. 

After Tim Roth, his big hero is Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) but buying him trainers and a walking stick seems inappropriate. Maybe he'd like the Hugh Laurie Blues CD 'Let Them Talk'? 

Does anyone have any ideas?

Birthday date decision!

Looking back through my Journal I discovered that Wilson came to live here with me on 11 May 2011, so not quite a year ago. I suggested to W that we call this date his 'official' birthday. He asked whether that would allow sufficient time for arranging cake and presents, and when I told him I was sure it would, he agreed. 

He was about to send a presents list to Father Birthmas, but I told him that wouldn't be necessary.

PS: If you'd like a copy of Wilson's 2012 calendar just let me know and I'll email a copy to you!

A proud mother's message to her son

Wilson has received a letter from his mum, Mrs Vermilingua. She says that what with Boo having so many stepfathers and half-brothers and -sisters, (including several that he's not met yet and a few more about to be born any day) she has rather lost track of birthday dates and has no idea of the date of his birthday. 

However, she assured him that she is very proud of him and all his achievements.

All Time is Relative — A Einstein

We're all over the place with Daylight Saving! First thing yesterday I started putting the clocks forward an hour, then I noticed Wilson was putting some of them forward an hour as well… and some of them back an hour as he 'wasn't sure which it was.' Consequently some of the clocks are right, some an hour slow, some two hours slow and a few are an hour fast. 

Achievements

Thinking about it, Wilson has accomplished quite a lot in the year he's been living with me. 

He may not yet be a millionaire, but he has been awarded the Freedom of Uckfield Town, he has a (self-awarded) OBE and a string of failed business enterprises. That's quite an achievement for an anteater.