BALLOON WITH THE ARTIST'S BREATH

Moving on we arrived at another display case – one which at least had the benefit of not being empty.

'This' Wilson explained proudly, 'is a work by up-and-coming Young British Artist Biro! He captured his breath in a balloon and it is exhibited exclusively here in the Vermilingua Contemporary Gallery… although there will be replicas available in the Gift Shop… as soon as he's got his breath back.'

By now I was beginning to lose the capacity to be surprised.

Wilson proceeded with his explanation, saying, 'I know what you're thinking, New Dad!'

I seriously doubted that, but he continued, 'You're thinking: "Wait a minute, this has been done before by the famous artist Piero Manzoni and is currently in the collection of the Tate Gallery!" But sadly, the passage of time has reduced Manzoni's original to a sticky, fragile mess.'

That was actually not at all what I had been thinking; I had been remembering Manzoni's most famous/notorious work, 'Merda d' artista' – a piece consisting of a sealed tin can containing a sample of the artist's 💩poo💩. I do hope neither of the boys is considering recreating that work!

Although I recall that one example of 'Merda d' artista' did sell at Christie's recently for £103,250 ($133,021 €121,528) so perhaps I shouldn't rush to judgment…