Wilson's plan was less expensive than I feared, costing me a mere £5 for a pack of 'Sockorations' – his new invention which will, he says, revolutionise the fashion industry and make him a millionaire.
'But I'm already wearing "ODDSIES!" non-matching socks!' I protested.
'I fear you need more than that to prevent you sinking into Sartorial Mediocrity,' he replied.
'Sockorations' appear to be self-adhesive paper shapes that I am expected to stick onto my socks each morning in order to 'Zizz Up' my game.
In the picture, the stick-on shapes are just self-adhesive paper, but the finished product will feature Glittery Shapes – I'm concerned that in use the glitter might rub off the shapes, fall into my shoes and cause some irritation.
I mentioned this to W and he told me that all great fashion is uncomfortable, but that in no time all the Trendy Hipsters will be sporting 'Sockorations' on their socks, so I suppose I'll just have to put up with the discomfort…
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