HIPSTER SHORTFALL

Just before we went out to the shops this morning, Wilson regarded me thoughtfully, frowning and stroking his chin.

'Is something wrong?' I asked, 'is my sweater on backwards or something?'
Wilson sighed, and replied, 'Nothing so obvious, New Dad –  it's just that your Hipster Credentials are, well, slipping grievously.'

'What are you talking about?' I demanded, glancing in the hall mirror, 'I look, well… okay, don't I? Has my attire not achieved its usual level of adequacy?'

'To be frank, you're looking a lot less Hoxton than you used to, but don't worry – I've had an idea to restore you to your previous levels of Hip Spiff!' he replied.

Oh, well that's alright then – I am not entirely beyond redemption!

I wonder how much it's going to cost me...