MISSING MUSEUM

Wilson has told me that 'A few minor side-effects' are a small price to pay for losing 18 pounds in less than a week, but with regret he has decided to withhold publication of his Celebrity Diet Book, for fear of legal action.

'We live in a Litigious Society, New Dad!' he told me, shaking his head sadly. 'Unscrupulous people will try to sue over the tiniest thing. I know this, because I've tried it myself…'

What with the diet making me too weak to move, I've not spent much time in the garden lately, but this morning I took a stroll outside to get some fresh air – imagine my shock when I noticed that Wilson's Museum was missing!

I called to him, 'Wilson! Wilson! Come quickly – someone has stolen your Museum!' 

A moment later he arrived, looking very businesslike in a parka and a hard hat and carrying a clipboard, to tell me that the Museum Rebuild had started.

I fear for the future of my lovely garden…