ZOO OVERCROWDING

Wilson shovelled a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth then passed a photograph to me.

‘This’, he explained, ‘Is my Mum, Mrs Vermilingua’s Living Room. It is full of children squabbling and quarrelling over toys – I couldn’t hear myself think! 

I nodded sympathetically.

‘The fire is so smokey that sometimes it makes your eyes water and you can’t see across the room. 

I nodded sympathetically.

‘The Black and White 12-inch television has only one channel, and you can’t see anything for the static. 

I nodded sympathetically.

‘The Wi-Fi has been cut off because the Warthogs were operating some kind of Internet Investment Scam.’

I nodded sympathetically.

‘How can I be expected to live like that? Eh? In the Summer I can go outside to play, but this was the middle of Winter – I was a Prisoner!’

He paused to sprinkle more ants on his cornflakes, then passed me another photo…