‘This,’ he remarked resentfully, ‘is my souvenir of the Worst National Ant Day Ever! It was freezing cold, there weren’t any ants, and I didn’t win!’
This must have been a bitter blow to Wilson, who has been crowned Ant King of Uckfield every year since he came to live with me in 2011.
‘Oh dear!’ I said, solicitously, ‘So who did win?’
‘One of my many ½-brothers – Sydney Arthur Vermilingua – found the first ant of 2018 and was crowned Ant King.’ he replied. ‘But I suspect cheating – I’m almost certain he had an ant concealed in his ear!’
I shook my head and made sympathetic noises…
‘Obviously I had an ant concealed in my ear too, but I didn’t produce it quickly enough! I have become complacent, New Dad!’ he continued. ‘Living here in comparative luxury with you has made me soft! Weakened my competitive spirit! I must Anteater-Up and regain my Edge!’
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