RESTLESS NIGHT

I don't know how much sleep either of the boys got last night — they went to bed (in the washing machine — the tumble dryer isn't really large enough to accommodate two) quite early but I could hear them whispering and giggling for most of the night as they formulated plans for the Uckfield Wildlife Petting Zoo and Anteater Experience.

To make matters worse, every hour or so Wilson would pop up to my room, stick his nose right in my ear and whisper loudly, 'New Dad! Are you awake?'

Once I'd been shocked into full wakefulness, he'd ask, 'Did I wake you? Well never mind, because we've just thought of...' and he'd tell me the newest money-making attraction for the Petting Zoo he and Byron had just thought up.

No sooner had I fallen back into a troubled sleep he'd be back, to regale me with another idea.

This was made even more difficult as, once it had passed midnight, all his ideas were expressed in Piratese, what with it being International Talk Like a Pirate Day...