TEST PHOTO

Wilson has written to Dennis, the Giant Anteater he met on the Isle of Wight, inviting him over to stay for the duration of Uckfield Wildlife Petting Zoo and Anteater Experience. 

He says that Dennis could sleep in the tumble dryer, as there's really not room for three in the washing machine, and in any case an anteater of Dennis' eminence should never be expected to share. 

Once he'd posted the letter he asked me into the garden so he could show Byron how to work the Polaroid camera on the Photo Opportunity Board. 

To encourage me to smile, Tiny Toy stood in front of the board telling me jokes, such as, 'Um, what's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? A Trumpet! Oh, no... wait a minute — a Trombone!'

It may have been only a test shoot, but I was still expected to pay the full price! The photo isn't too bad, I suppose; only half my head is cut off. 

Wilson explained this was just a 'teething problem' until Byron learned to stop the camera going off unexpectedly. 

But he didn't offer me a refund.