Xmas is fading into memory...

Wilson has spent most of his time since Xmas eating, drinking, dozing and playing with everyone's toys. 

I, for my part, have spent most of my time eating, drinking, dozing and not having to settle arguments!

Today has been no different, and things are very peaceful here. Tranquil, even.

I hope it lasts…

Happy Xmas Everyone!

Well at last it's Xmas Eve! We're as ready for Xmas as we're ever going to be, although I've just got a little bit more wrapping to do.

Wilson is wandering round listlessly, waiting for the time to pass until Father Xmas calls with his presents. I don't imagine he'll get much sleep tonight, for which reason I surmise I shan't get much either!

Over Xmas I'll be taking a couple of days off from the Blog, so don't expect to hear from me for a little while — although W might stay in touch on Twitter*. 

In the meantime, Wilson, Polly and Billi, Johnson & Johnson, Antony and Tiny Toy, the sTone Brothers, Diesel the Goldfish and I all wish you 

A VERY HAPPY XMAS!

* @WVermilingua 

Wassail Wassail!

When we arrived home from Bath there was a lot of mail waiting for us — a dozen or so identical Xmas cards from Wilson's Mum Mrs Vermilingua and her still-growing family (including one from Kenneth Byron Eustace Vermilingua, W's young stepbrother who came to stay with us last year) and a specially welcome card from Colin the Knitted Camel and his new family!

W opened and read them all and stood them on the mantel-shelf before running out to the 'Museum' for his little pull-along wagon. He loaded everyone (everyone except Diesel the Goldfish, who was left behind for reasons of 'Health & Safety') onto the cart and towed them off to go Carol Singing.

This year's Carol Singing Innovation is that his choir is accompanied by kazoo and spoons — Wilson is confident that this will boost his earnings no end.

I'm reserving my judgement on that…

Glühwein overdose...

This evening, determined to wring every last drop of hedonistic pleasure from this brief holiday, Wilson suffered a Glühwein overdose and had to have a brief rest on the pavement while I plied him with black coffee. 

Whatever happens we must leave for home first thing tomorrow morning, or he won't have time to fit in one of his 'essential' Xmas traditions…

The Many Faces of Bath

Wilson said that the Roman Baths were very interesting, but refused to venture out of the indoor areas, saying he could see very nicely from where he was, thank you. I think he was nervous that he might be jostled by the crowds and fall into the dreaded water. 'That water is thousands of years old, New Dad!' he observed with a shudder.

On our way to the Xmas Markets he saw a busker with a didgeridoo, and for some unaccountable reason he thought this would be the ideal instrument for Carol Singing. He insisted on trying one out at one of the stalls. It was more difficult than he expected. 

After a general look round the market he stopped at a Gin and Whisky Stall where they let him sample drinks with names like "Sheep Dip" and "Pig's Nose."

After quite a lot of sampling he said he'd just settle for 'A litre bottle of Xmas Ant Gin, please!' but was met with blank stares. 

He explained that it was a traditional Xmas delicacy where he came from, but the stall-holders just shook their heads impassively…

Bristol Christmas Market

After the SS Great Britain Wilson was anxious to see IKB's famous Clifton Suspension Bridge then, as night began to fall, Bristol Xmas Markets. 

Here he bought some souvenir German Xmas Market Gingerbread for everyone back at home.

A Kodak Moment!

Wilson's eyes lit up when, in the SS Great Britain Museum, we entered the dressing-up room!

He immediately bagged the tallest top-hat and struck what he assured me was a typical Isambard Kingdom Brunel-esque pose, pointing out that, without his famous hat, Mr Isambard was only about the same height as him. 

As you probably know, I'm not keen in appearing in photos, but W insisted that we have a Family Portrait taken, and asked one of the other visitors to take our picture together.

Examining the image later, I assured Wilson that, in a poor light, he could easily be mistaken for Mr Brunel.

We've had a lovely time on the SS Great Britain, but now it's time to move on — next stop is Brunel's Clifton Suspension Bridge, then on to the City Centre for Bristol's Xmas Markets!

First Class Accommodation!

Having inspected the first-class cabins, I decided that I wouldn't have wanted to spend three months on board travelling to Australia.

When we saw the magnificent Saloon, however, Wilson exclaimed, 'This is more like it!' and sat down at the banquet table, got out his Sea Pass (which he rarely travels without) and waved it in the air, calling, 'Bar Service, please! Bar Service!'

While he was waiting for the Bar Service That Never Arrived, he let slip that he had asked Father Xmas for everyone in Uckfield to get a kazoo, so he can start a Kazoo Orchestra.

The Galley and Bakery were right next door to the Saloon, and for some reason were extremely smelly. W said he'd mention this to the Steward once he found him.

 

Xmas problem...

Once I'd pried Wilson away from the steering wheel (I expect it's got a nautical name, but neither of us know it) we went underneath the ship to examine the propeller, then below decks to have a look at the engines.

While we gazed, mesmerised, at the stately steel wheels slowly turning I asked W whether he'd written his Xmas List yet, and he said it was written and safely posted to Father Xmas.

I subtly questioned him about what he'd asked for, but he said that was a private matter between him and Father Xmas.

That will make buying Xmas presents for him tough — it's never easy buying gifts for an anteater who already has access to your VISA card…

Wilson steers the great vessel...

Now, when it seems so tiny against modern vessels, it's difficult to comprehend that the SS Great Britain was once described as 'The Greatest Experiment Since The Creation'! 

Even by modern standards, though, it's extremely impressive, and Wilson enjoyed pretending to steer it, shouting commands like, 'Full Astern, Scottie!' and 'Raise the Mainsail — make it so, Mr Riker!'

Next he wants to go 'belowdecks' to see the propellor and the engines, while I'm looking forward to seeing the cabins.

SS Great Britain

As Wilson requested, our first port of call was at Bristol Dockyard to see the SS Great Britain. 

(Port of Call — did you see what I did there? Oh.)

On our way there he confided to me that if Mr Isambard was on board he intended to ask for his autograph, and I had to break the news that not only was he dead, he had been so for more that 150 years. 

After a minute's thought, W said he would have sent flowers if only he'd known.

The SS Great Britain, having been fully restored, is hugely impressive, and we both really enjoyed ourselves touring the ship and the associated museum and dockyard. W said it was easily as good as HMS Belfast which we both visited a year or so ago, although with fewer guns.

We both agreed that SS Great Britain is a Top Attraction!

Breakfast is the Most Important Meal!

Wilson read through all the Tourist Information Leaflets last night and decided that today he'd like to visit the SS Great Britain in Bristol Docks.

The most important preparation for such activity is apparently to have an enormous and extravagant breakfast. 

I could only manage a croissant and black coffee, having been awake most of the night with Wilson reading aloud to me from the leaflets...

Research

Since I had kept our destination a secret from Wilson until we were actually on our way, he hadn't had any opportunity to research Bath or Bristol. Accordingly, even before we went to our room, he picked up a load of leaflets about the local attractions. 

I expect he'll be up all night with them. 

With the room lights on.

Reading interesting bits out loud to me.

While I vainly try to get some sleep...

Bath time!

We're all now safely home from our Winter Holiday. Wilson is a little bit sad to return to normal life, though I think he's happy to be sleeping in his own tumble dryer again.

He thanked the bees for their sterling work in keeping the blog going during our absence, and I have to say there was a little bit of unpleasantness when Billi announced that she and Polly had enjoyed blogging so much that they wanted to carry on doing it, giving the blog a more bee-related bias.

Anyway, they and W sorted it out between themselves without anyone getting stung, so now I can start telling you about our holiday in Bath. 

W told me later that he couldn't decide whether or not to give them the bottle of Roman Baths Souvenir Royal Jelly he'd brought back for them.

In today's picture you can see Wilson arriving at the hotel in the tiny village of Lympley Stoke, just outside Bath.

i'm back again

hello everyone again, it's polly-b again. i'm feeling much better again today, thanks for asking. yesterday billi did this blog and she forgot to put in any full stops or commas so i will put some at the end of this mESSAGE AND YOU CAN STICK THEM IN WHERE YOU LIKE.

POLLY? THE WRITING HAS GONE ALL FUNNY AGAIN, HOW DO I STOP IT?

billib here

greetings everybody this is billi-b today

polly isnt feeling very well today so i will do this for her not that i intend making a habit of it you understand

todays free gift decoration is a bit special apparently its called a bauble and i have no idea what that is it looks like a bit of cardboard to me

it's polly-b again, hello dear

hello everyone, this is polly-b once more with another xmas tree decoration from wilSON. IT IS ANOTHER ANTEATER PICTURE TO CUT OUT ETC LIKE BEFORE.

BILLI DEAR, WHY HAS MY WRITING GONE FUNNY LIKE THIS?

hello? hello? 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2?

hello everyone, this is polly-b again. hello. 

today i have got a lovely xmas decoration which wilson designed for you and i'm going to try to send it to you. it is a festive picture of an anteater which you are supposed to print and cut out and hang on your xmas tree. it all sounds like a lot of work to me, but what do i know?

billi, dear, how do i send a picture? oh yes i remember now.

busy bees blogging

hello everyone. i am polly-b and this is my friend and wife billi-b and we will be running this nice blog until wilson and his new dad come home from their holiday.

billi and i are both bees and we live with wilson and his new dad and our adopted children johnson major and johnson minor. also loads of other people live here too. ssssswsdfkgjpoiadr

unfortunately both johnsons are being quite naughty. they are over excited and keep jumping up and down on the keyboard.

johnson — do stop doing that. cccccccdddddeekkldfn;a now.

We're All Going on a Winter Holiday!

I tried to convince Wilson to take only one suitcase, but I eventually relented and let him take a separate 'emergencies' bag, which I suspect is full of Cheesy Wotsits and Ant-Based Snacks, but it's not very big.

Once all the packing was in the car everyone gathered in the front room to wave us off.

As we drove away I whispered the name of our destination to W, who immediately started to panic! He calmed down once I explained, but his reaction might be a clue to you of where we are going.

Otherwise, you'll just have to wait until we get back and we show you the photos!

In the meantime the bees Polly-B and Billi-B will take care of you on the blog (they're both very excited!) and Wilson and I will see you in a few days…