A BIG delivery for Wilson

Wilson has had an air of suppressed excitement about him recently, and today a delivery van drew up outside with a huge box addressed to him. 

He was very secretive about it, telling me to wait outside while he opened it. After checking the contents, he returned whatever it is to the box and re-sealed it.

He won't give me any clues about what's in the box, saying only that it will be 'a big surprise!'… but past experience has taught me to expect the worst.

An Aurora

Real Polar Bears are extremely dangerous, but most people find toy Polar Bears cute and cuddly. Wilson, though, has developed a deep suspicion of them after he thought a pack of them was trying to mug him and steal his present from Father Xmas. 

A Security Elf from Santa's Grotto explained to W that the bears were just models, but on the way out we came across some animated Polar Bears, and W got very nervous. I had to carry him out to the car and drive him home, where I calmed him down with hot chocolate.

It turns out that the Collective Noun for a group of bears is a 'sleuth' or a 'sloth' of bears… which is quite ironic given that Wilson is a member of the Sloth genus. I mentioned this to Wilson, who quickly corrected me, saying that the correct term for a group of POLAR bears is an 'aurora'. Well, who would have guessed. 

Don't tell me this stuff isn't educational!

Meeting The Man...

To cheer Wilson up after his very disappointing sledging experience, I took him to see Father Xmas in his Grotto at the local Garden Centre. 

W was very excited to meet him, and pleased to receive his gift which, once again, he refuses to open until Xmas Day. 

Apparently Antony was a bit overwhelmed by by being in the presence of The Man Himself, and had to be comforted.

As W left the grotto he thought the polar bears were about to mug him for his gift, but an awkward moment was averted when a Security Elf stepped in to reassure him.

I don't know why Father Xmas always sets up his grotto in Garden Centres and Department Stores -- it seems to taint him with the unethical aura of Commercialism...

White Xmas just doesn't happen...

Wilson was not in the best of moods last night, having spent all day in a field waiting for the promised snowfall. Shortly after this photo was taken, he made Antony get off the sledge and try to push him downhill... so I'm guessing Antony can't have been too happy, either.

W was very scathing about the Met Office, although he later conceded that he might have been looking at a weather forecast for Lewis, in Scotland (more than 200 miles North of here), rather than for Lewes, a handful of miles to the South. 

It's an easy mistake to make when you're overexcited.

Last minute adjustments

Last night Wilson was back up on the roof making last-minute adjustments to the lights. I trust him, obviously… I just wish he'd be a bit more careful with that hammer when he's so near the windows.

He insisted on doing this yesterday because he's seen a weather forecast predicting snow, and he guessed, correctly, that I wouldn't let him climb all over the house if it was snowing and slippery.

The letter is in the mail

Wilson just popped into the village to mail his letter to Father Xmas. 

I think he's going to be a bit disappointed in some of his requests; I just can't see how Santa can re-start all those cancelled tv series… but I'm sure he'll come up trumps with W's request for 'surprises'.

A star appears in the East

Despite the bitter cold last night, Wilson insisted on erecting the outdoor Xmas lights. He ignored my urging to wear a coat, saying that he couldn't do his 'best climbing' while encumbered by clothing. 

I do worry about him on that ladder, but he says that climbing is one of all anteaters' greatest skills. 

As soon as he'd finished putting up this star he popped in for a warm-up and a cup of hot chocolate, then he was back outside putting up more lights, even as darkness fell.

The Xmas tree is finished

Well, it took a long time but Wilson finally has the Xmas tree decorated to his satisfaction. I think it looks lovely. He says his paws are sore from the pine needles, but otherwise he's very happy. He also smells very Xmassy!

It's freezing this morning, with a heavy frost, but W intends to put up the outside lights this afternoon. 

Dressing the tree...

Wilson, now fully recovered from his Adventure in Time, has put the Xmas tree up. He has just come down from the loft with a LOAD of decorations, and is going to dress the tree this afternoon. 

I know he had intended to decorate the tree entirely with Pantone® colour-matched decorations, but they were quite expensive so we just got three Pantone® Xmastree Balls and W coordinated the other decorations as best he could.

Weather permitting, he plans to put up the outside lights tomorrow.

Time Travel experiment fails dismally

Wilson's experiment in Suspended Animation, or 'One-Way Time Travel' as he called it, was a dismal failure, and he is in a very grumpy mood this morning. 

He woke at the usual time, complaining of indigestion and a headache (ie a hangover), asking, 'Is is Xmas yet?' When he found it was only the following day he groaned, put his paws over his eyes and tried, unsuccessfully, to go back to sleep. 

He was so hung-over that I had to bring his breakfast to him in his bed. After a few pints of water, two paracetamol and some fire-ants, I'm sure he'll be as good as new, but he says he's never going to try hibernating again. 

Decorating the Xmas Tree has fallen behind schedule, so I'll try to distract him with that later. 

Wilson's Xmas Plan

Last night Wilson cooked a very large meal and ate far more than usual. He washed it down with a lot of Ant Gin. Then he announced that he was bored with waiting for Xmas and he was going to hibernate until Xmas Eve.

We both know that anteaters do not naturally hibernate, but he thought that with enough food and drink inside him, together with the current cold weather, it should be achievable. 

He made me promise to post his letter to Father Xmas, and to wake him on Xmas Eve. Then he took himself off to the tumble dryer and retired. 

Xmas List

Wilson has just finished writing his list for Father Xmas. 

I've caught a glimpse of it, and I have to say that there are some very big asks on it. 

Some VERY big asks.

December 1st!

'December the First!' Wilson cried out as he opened his eyes this morning, 'Only about 120 Sleeps until Xmas!'

There was great excitement when he thought he'd spotted an illuminated model anteater in one of the shop displays. He swore it must have been modelled on his great, great step uncle as it has the exact same ears. 

It turns out it was only a deer, but I think it's given W an idea…

CHECK THIS OUT!

November has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the tenth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: NOVEMBER 2012 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as Father Xmas!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_november_2012

You can now SUBSCRIBE to Wilson's blog by email!

The BLOG is right here: http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

You can TRANSLATE Wilson's blog into other languages!

You can COMMENT on Wilson's blog — and he'd love to hear from you!

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

Tinsel time!

Wilson is hoping to start decorating the house for Xmas tomorrow, so we had to pop out to do some last-minute tinsel shopping. 

I had no idea that choosing tinsel would be so difficult, or take so long. The colour, apparently, has to be just right. Pantone swatches were consulted frequently. 

Who knew?

World Electronic Greetings Day

Today is Electronic Greetings Day, so this message will be 140 chars.

long, Twitter format. However, Wilson has something VERY important to…

A love of stationery...

We continued our Xmas shopping at ASDA*.

Wilson has a deep-seated and profound love of stationery and spent a lot of time in this aisle, gazing lovingly at binders and notebooks, smelling the erasers and pencils.

I shall be very surprised if I don't get a stapler and a box of rubber bands for Xmas!

*That's like WalMart for English people

The perfect Xmas card

We did a little Xmas shopping today, and Wilson chose the cards to send to his family. He sends everyone in his family an identical card, to minimise jealousy and squabbling, so he had to choose the perfect card that would please everyone and offend no one. 

You might be surprised to learn how long that took.

Wilson is unable to help Greece

Wilson is a bit disappointed not to have had a reply from the Greek Prime Minister. He told me that the PM probably thought his offer to help him through the economic crisis was too generous to be true, but still he should have sent an email thanking him. 

'My paws are tied, though!' he continued. 'There is no way I can print any more money until I get some more cyan ink!'

Walking the walk...

We've just arrived back from Brighton Marina. While we were there Wilson had another cup of the 'best in the world' hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows at The Laughing Dog Café and Gallery. He insisted that Antony should also have one of his own which, unsurprisingly, W finished for him – the cup was bigger than Antony who is, after all, only a small stuffed toy.

The purpose of our visit, though, was to install some of Wilson's Walk-of-Fame stickers. 

He's very pleased with the result, but asks that you continue to apply pressure to the Walk-of-Fame people to have a real Walk-of-Fame plaque installed with his name on it.