'So what are you doing here?' Wilson enquired, 'It must be 200 miles from Weston-Super-Market, and Uckfield's more than 20 miles from the sea!'
'Ah, well there's the thing,' Andrew replied, 'Times are hard for a Professional Fish & Chip* Thief in lockdown – there just aren't any holidaymakers – so I've travelled up here for the Uckfield Sewage Farm. I hear there's rich pickings on sewage farms – that the Settling Tanks are paved with gold…'
Wilson and Byron were both appalled at the thought of eating sewage, although Nërp said he thought sewage might be full of protein – as long as you didn't mind the taste… or the look… or the smell…
Wilson told Andrew he was very sorry to find him in such straitened circumstances, but that all he could offer him was a packet of Arnold's Park Termites and all the crab apples he could eat – living in a vegetarian household he just didn't have much to interest a seagull.
Andrew thanked him for at least trying to help and flew away.
Wilson called after him, 'There are a couple of Chip* Shops in the High Street – you could check out their bins!'
—
* French Fries
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