CHARITY AUCTION

The boys are holding a Charity Auction to raise money for what they are evasively describing as a Very Good Cause.

They are selling the original of Byron's 'Dead Pixel' piece – Byron is the auctioneer while Wilson is handling Telephone Bids and Nërp is in charge of Internet Bidding.

They're quite good at it, which makes me suspect they've all been watching way too much Dickinson's Real Deal, Bargain Hunt and Flog It! on daytime tv…

When pressed, they eventually admitted that the so-called 'charity' is, in fact, the Vermilingua Family Beach Hut Fund.

I pointed out that we already had many suitable cardboard boxes and offered to donate a roll of Sellotape, but Nërp explained that cardboard was unlikely to survive more than a couple of days of the English Summer before it turned into a puddle of papier mâché, so he was planning a 'more durable' construction method which, regrettably, would be 'slightly' more expensive than cardboard.

It looks like our Amazon Cardboard Box Mountain is here to stay… ☹️

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New Readers Start Here Nº 09

MOLE THE MOLE

• Mole came to live with us shortly after Wilson first learned about moles and thought he'd like a pet one.

• He decided to return to the wild shortly before learning about Xmas, and changed his mind.

• Says that central heating and a mixed diet is far better than living underground in the damp on a diet of worms.

• He is called Mole because, living such a solitary life in the wild with no-one to talk to he had no need of a name, and was actually unfamiliar with the concept.