PHASERS ON STUN

To date there's been little or no sign of Jīqìrén's much-vaunted helpfulness – so far she's just sat in silence watching children's tv with Wilson.

When I asked whether she'd mind if I changed channels to watch The News she said nothing – but made a ominous sound not unlike Phasers On Stun, or perhaps a Light Sabre…

Still, never mind – the News will only be all about Brexit, so I don't really need to see it – in fact, I'm probably happier for NOT having seen it.

Although, I would quite like to see Joanna Lumley's Japan later tonight – maybe Jīqìrén will have gone to bed by then…