TESTING PHASE

Whether due to the Miraculous Healing Powers of Wilson's 'Splashdown™® Hangover Cure' (as he and Byron believe) or merely the passage of time (my own theory) both boys were up bright and early today – accompanied by an acrid and unpleasant smell.

'Mmm – you smell great today, New Dad!' Wilson greeted me, 'New aftershave?'

He sniffed theatrically, then added, 'Oh wait a minute – it must be the seductive and alluring aroma of our new Car Air Freshener!'

From behind his back he withdrew one of the home-made Magic Tree-type Air Fresheners he and Byron had made a few days ago, and held it out to me proudly.

'It's time for the Testing Phase – we'll go and hang this in the car and wait for you – don't be long!'

In order to test the air freshener's efficacy we all drove round to the local Sewage Farm – I kept the windows wound down as the overpowering formalin fumes were making my eyes water so much I could barely see to drive.

Reaching our destination, the aroma of partially-treated effluent came almost as a welcome relief…