THE TOUR CONCLUDES

Once the shortlisted items of 'Special Interest' had all been seen, Nërp announced the conclusion of the tour:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, the Free Tour of the Wilson Vermilingua New Museum of Old Stuff is now at an end. As you will have noticed, there are many interesting exhibits in the museum which we've not been able to look at, so I hope we'll see you all again soon, when you can enjoy them at a more leisurely pace. Thank you for your kind attention.'

Wilson desperately whispered to him, 'Don't forget to mention Gratuities!'

Nërp, not understanding, glanced at the gesturing Wilson, who shouted, 'The Tip Jar! Tell them about The Tip Jar!'

Nërp flushed briefly, then said that it is a condition of his employment at the Wilson Vermilingua New Museum of Old Stuff that he advises all visitors that Gratuities are welcome.

'Go on!' W prompted urgently.

'Um… this is deeply embarrassing,' N continued, 'but it would appear that the Suggested Gratuity is £5, $6.37, €5.71 cash only. Change will not be given.'

Wilson rushed in and started enthusiastically brandishing the Tip Jar, while Nërp muttered to himself, 'Oh, the indignity of it all – I am mortified!'