UNIVERSITY BOAT RACE

Wilson was pretty much done in by the time we returned from his Celebrity Book Signing event yesterday, and went straight to bed in the tumble dryer. 

He was a little disappointed that Brighton was knocked out of the FA Cup yesterday (although he knew they were doomed once he learned Jesus was playing for Manchester City – clearly you can't buck Divine Intervention).

Football really isn't his sport, so this morning he rose late and relaxed in front of the tv, sipping Limoncello-and-Gin Cocktails with ants while he waited for the 165th University Boat Race.

Since the men's race didn't start until 3:10, and he'd been drinking since breakfast time, I was surprised he could even remember the names of the teams by the time the Coxs' arms went down…

W is a keen Oxford supporter, and although he was a bit dismayed when Cambridge took a convincing early lead he carried on shouting, 'Come on Oxford! Come on Oxford!'

By Chiswick Reach he was beginning to acknowledge that Cambridge were 'very good…' and by Barnes Bridge he had segued seamlessly into supporting the Light Blues…

When the race was finally over, and Oxford's appeal had been dismissed, he announced that he was 'Totes drained!' and retired to his tumble dryer to sleep off the day's excitement.