CAST OFF FORE! CAST OFF AFT!

Wilson returned from the bar clutching a glass of gin-based seasickness cure, and grabbed a lifebelt for himself before returning to his seat.

'Okay, New Dad,' he said, 'you can tell the Captain he may now Cast Off – but advise him he's got a Nervous Passenger on board, so not to drive too fast!'

With that, the engine noise increased and we pulled slowly away from the quay…