BOARDING PARTY

Once all of Wilson's safety concerns had been fully addressed, his questions about the choice of brands and flavours of gin answered and his Bar Tab opened, he nervously climbed the gangplank on to the boat.

Or Walked The Plank, as he referred to it.

Then, having secured a seat adjacent to a lifebelt, he went downstairs ('It's called belowdecks, New Dad!') to the Bar, for a dose of Mr Hendrick's medicinal sea-sickness preventative and Tonic…