IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

Although it was clear to me that I had been carrying the heavy end, I didn't find out what was actually inside the crate until Wilson had opened it.

While I was recovering my breath, W took a crowbar and levered off the lid... and I immediately understood his unwillingness to reveal its contents, for inside lay: a ROBOT.

This is not Wilson's first robot. Several years ago he built a robot to assemble teddy-bears to be donated to a Sloth Orphanage in Costa Rica; almost as soon as it was switched on, it ran amok, trying to make teddy-bears out of anything in its path – three cushions, a pair of my jeans, the carpet, the contents of the washing machine and a cabbage – before it finally tripped over the hole it had cut in the carpet, landed on top of little Antony... and tried to turn him into a teddy-bear!

With great presence of mind, Wilson punched the Emergency Shut-Down button, rendering the robot powerless, but it was touch-and-go for a moment, and since then it's been permanently decommissioned and stored in the 'Museum'.

I did not welcome the arrival of another robot, and I'm willing to bet Antony agrees with me...