PUMPKIN HARVEST

This year, rather than going to Tesco or Waitrose for his pumpkins Wilson has decided to 'go organic' and is visiting what he calls a 'Free Range Pumpkin Ranch' so he can see the pumpkins living in their natural environment and discuss with them whether they're up for being redeveloped into lanterns and soup.

I've driven the two lads out to a local farm, and they're carefully and systematically examining each pumpkin, establishing its family circumstances and administering a brief 'Psych Eval' to ensure that they know what they're agreeing to.

While this is both admirable and humane, it could take days — Hallowe'en might have been and gone before they reach a decision!