IDENTITY CRISIS

The ants started to crawl off the plate of scones, but Wilson was oblivious to them. 

I tried to comfort him by explaining, 'Many famous people thought their actual mum was their sister – the actor Jack Nicholson, for example, and the brilliant Rock guitarist Eric Clapton!' 

'Serial killer Ted Bundy!' he replied, 'I looked it up.'

'Then you'll have found singer-songwriter-actor Bobby Darin?' I asked.

'I found multi-murder Fred West!' he countered.

'Have you heard of Nobel Prize winner Sir Paul Nurse?' I asked, 'He only found out the truth when he was 58!'

Wilson just sighed and closed his eyes. I decided it was time to play my Ace Card. 

'Hey, matey, you trust me, don't you?' I asked. 'You know I'm not a serial killer. And yet I am very like you – I thought my Mum was my sister until I was more than twice your age!'

'You're just saying that to make me feel better!' he replied wearily.

'No Wilson, I assured him, 'I'm truly not!'

His tongue flicked out to catch an escaping ant, on which he began to chew thoughtfully...