ANIMAL CONTROL SIGNS

This morning Wilson had briefly popped round to Harlands Farm Pond to visit the ducks, when he came across some worrying new signs erected by the Council.

They say that Anteaters are to be 'Kept on a lead if requested' and exhort people to be 'Responsible anteater owners.' 

I can't help thinking this is directed at me! Wilson is – as far as I know – the only anteater in the village; ergo, I am the only anteater owner.

Wilson was quite upset by the signs, but as I tried to comfort him it gradually emerged that what was troubling him was not the idea of being put on a lead so much as the concept that anteaters could be OWNED.

'Am I not a Free Anteater?' he asked, 'In the Immortal Words of Lieutenant Commander Data of the USS Enterprise, 'If you tickle me, do I not laugh? If you prick me, do I not... leak?'

In a desperate effort to lighten the moment, I tickled him. 

He did, indeed, laugh, but there was a sadness in his eyes...

I thought it best, for the time being at least, not to prick him!