THE UCKFIELD POUND

Wilson is having a family meeting to decide on an appropriate design for his Uckfield Pound notes... and I must say, there's quite a lot of shouting going on. Basically, everybody thinks it should be their portrait on the notes. 

Wilson is arguing determinedly and cogently for his portrait, partly because the Ucky Pound was his idea in the first place, and partly because he's already designed the note with his picture on it.

The sTone Brothers are willing to appear together, and Polly says she's happy to appear in a group picture with her partner Billi and their children... although Billi has added a rider of her own: she doesn't want her portrait anywhere until her new glasses have arrived.

Diesel the goldfish fiercely maintains that there is a long tradition of showing fish on banknotes, and having his image on the Uckfield Pound would lend an air of authenticity and trustworthiness. 

I have never heard of that tradition, but I'm keeping well out of this discussion.

I've also made it quite clear that I don't want my portrait or name associated with this venture in any way, due to its dubious legality...

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