GARDEN CENTRE

Once we reached the garden centre Wilson dashed inside and — even before calling in at the restaurant — headed directly to the Stationery department.

Here he walked slowly up and down the calendars aisle, examining each calendar in detail.

At length he rejoined me and reported his findings. 'There are calendars about Piglets, Owls, Goats and Cats. There are calendars about every breed of dog in existence, plus some made-up breeds. There are even calendars about water-skiing guinea pigs, cats doing yoga and puppies dressed up as fairies!'

I waited, sure of what was coming next. I was not disappointed.

'Do you know how many calendars there were about anteaters?'

I raised my eyebrows enquiringly, sensing this was a rhetorical question.

'NONE!' he exclaimed, 'Not a single one! I have definitely found a huge gap in the calendar market — and who is better placed to fill that gap than me?'  

I should probably prepare myself for a large invoice from on-line calendar printers VistaPrint...