'Wilson,' I began, 'Young Dave here — Dave the Pig — says you told him he was adopted. He's very upset. What's going on?'
'W sighed wearily and replied, 'I didn't say he was "adopted". Not exactly. What I actually said was that if anyone asked, he should say he was a Tibetan Flying Pig — just while the Wildlife Petting Zoo is open!'
Dave considered this in silence.
For some reason, Wilson seemed to be wobbling about and — impossible though this sounds — growing taller before my eyes.
Glancing at his feet I noticed the ground beneath him was moving; writhing, almost.
'Don't panic! Don't panic!' he shouted (sounding very like Cpl Jones in Dads' Army). 'We're having an earthquake! Everyone go indoors and hide under the table!'
Without warning, Antony announced, 'Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake that we realise something was actually strange.' Everyone stared at him in confusion.
He blushed and explained, 'It's a quote from "Inception" — we're probably all just dreaming that this is happening...'
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