TOOTHPASTE FOR FUN AND PROFIT

Wilson is in the kitchen, apparently talking to himself. In a posh voice.

'Of course, toothpaste is useful not just for cleaning teeth, but in all sorts of household jobs — for example, cleaning your tv or computer screen!'

With this, he rubbed toothpaste all over his (ie my) laptop screen. 

'Oh! Oh my!' he exclaimed, surveying the mess he had made. 'I expect that will wash off and the screen will be better than new!' 

'What are you doing with my laptop?' I asked.

'Oh! I didn't hear you come in, New Dad — I'm just amping-up my Product Placement campaign, so that manufacturers send me money to display their stuff on the Blog. I seem to have made a bit of a mess here...'