Once we'd got home I pressed Wilson about what was going on, and he reluctantly agreed to explain.
His research (hanging around in the foyer at Tesco) had apparently revealed that 17% of shoppers (mostly women, but he didn't have the precise figures to hand. To paw) bought a bunch of flowers.
'They take them home, look at them for a week then throw them away!' he said.
'Yes, because they're dead,' I replied.
'Ah! That is where I come in, with the Wilson Vermilingua OBE on-line Pre-Loved Flower Boutique!'
'You're going to try to sell dead flowers to people?' I asked, incredulously. 'For actual money?'
He raised one claw and touched the side of his nose knowingly.
'Not until I have subjected them to my Top Secret Refurbishment Process which will restore them to their original beauty!' he said, pulling something out from beneath the sofa…
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