When Wilson arrived at the bee hotel early today he caught the woodlice unawares: drunk and rowdy, the father woodlouse wearing a miniature wifebeater and actually doing the terrible thing of which W would not speak. He said he was appalled by their behaviour!
While he was there the father earwig came out to see him, wringing his forceps as a tiny tear emerged from his compound eye and trickled down his mandible, to tell W he was very sorry for what had happened. He repeated that the graffiti had been done by the woodlice, beseeching W to allow his family to stay. He said that as a sign of good faith he and his family had themselves scrubbed off all the graffiti.
Wilson told me that he had reluctantly evicted the woodlice (who had actually sworn at him) and told the earwigs they could stay.
I asked him again what it was the woodlice did that was so awful, which so revolted him. After a moment's consideration he whispered in my ear: 'They drink through their bottoms!'
Well, I quite see why W would be unwilling to share a cup with them...
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