Antony is questioned...

I didn't sleep very well last night, as I was attacked by the remains of yesterday's breakfast of free-range ants.

Putting that aside, though, Wilson is determined to discover the truth about what happened when Antony disappeared. To this end he has drawn the curtains to plunge the spare room into darkness and positioned an Anglepoise lamp to shine into the suspect's eyes. He told me that he plans to use the tried-and-tested Good Cop/Bad Cop technique, and as Antony is his best friend I will have to be the Bad Cop.

Then he brings little Antony into the room and places him on the 'interrogation' chair. 

'Have you Mirandized him?' W asks me. 'We don't have the Miranda Act in this country, we just Caution suspects,' I explained.

'Whatever,' he replies, turning back to Antony and banging his paw on the table. 'Okay, little guy, just tell us the truth and you won't get hurt. Hold back, and there'll be a lot of kapok on the floor! A lot of kapok!'

Ooh-er! If this is W being the Good Cop, what shall I have to do as the Bad Cop?