Before I had a chance to object, Wilson retired to his bed in the tumble drier to think about his new plan.
About an hour later I found him sitting at the iMac designing a poster.
Now the garden is filled with minute placards on cocktail sticks, proclaiming:
BRITAIN'S GOT ANTS! Can you dance? Sing? Juggle? Come to the stage in front of the Museum of Old Stuff on Monday and audition for a Wonderful Prize!
I asked W what the prize would be, and he told me there would be a jar of flavoured sugar and the chance to appear on Simon Cowell's Britain's Got Ants tv show.
'So Simon Cowell has agreed to this?' I asked, incredulously.
'I'm just waiting for him to return my call' W replied, confidently.
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What was Wilson Vermilingua OBE doing last month? Have you missed anything? I've just uploaded the fifth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: MAY 2012.
This edition contains all the news about his Birthday!
Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to, as he puts it, "Spread like a Very Infectious Thing!".
I think he means 'Go Viral'.
You can download it or read it online at:
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