Wilson relates his adventures.

Wilson is gradually getting used to being home again. He told me this morning that he can't sleep if his bed's not rocking as it did on the ship, so he's planning to invent and build a bed-rocking machine. 

He assembled the sTone Brothers and Diesel the Goldfish in the living room so he could tell them all about his holiday. He related quite a few adventures that I can't recall…  such as the time Captain Sørensen summoned him to the Bridge and begged him to take over the driving for a little while so he could have a break. Or when the Mayor of  Lisbon asked him to take their bi-plane up for a test flight. 

His audience was entranced by these tales which, I admit, are based on reality, but clearly a different reality to the one I remember…

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CHECK THIS OUT! 

What with his World Tour, January has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the latest monthly volume of Ant Wars II: January 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as a cruise to the Canary Islands. Even though I didn't see any canaries."

You can download them or read them online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/journal_jan_14    

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon

Original photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

We head for home...

We have come face-to-face with the reality of living in England in February: it is cold, it is wet and it is very windy. 

Considering how upset he was, Wilson ate a shockingly hearty breakfast. I've never known anyone who can down so many double espressos at a sitting!  

Following breakfast we had a very brief look round Southampton before setting off for home.

Throughout the journey I had to keep heating very high as W was constantly complaining about cold. 

We leave the ship for the last time...

We disembarked the ship without incident. As long as you don't count Wilson breaking down in tears and hanging on to the the deck rail, refusing to leave until security, and then Captain Sørensen himself, arrived to talk him onto the gangplank. 

Once we were safely back on dry land in Southampton we checked in at the Holiday Inn for one more night.

I was very tired and had hoped to settle down early, but instead Wilson sat up late telling Polly-B, Antony and Tiny Toy of all our adventures at sea. 

They sat spellbound, fascinated to hear about them, as they hadn't set foot outside the cabin; W had been afraid they would wander away and get lost. Or be toy-napped and held to ransom by foreign gangs of toy-thieves. 

Poor little Antony actually thought the holiday was just beginning, not realising that it was in fact ending. 

Tomorrow we'll have a quick look round Southampton, then drive home.

Wilson sheds a tear...

This evening we sat down to our final silver service dinner or, as Wilson mournfully called it, our Last Supper. I think I saw a tear drip into his soup, but overall he was very brave about it, hugging and thanking all our regular waiters warmly. 

Later he knotted his bow tie to have his photograph taken with Captain Sørensen, who remembered W from the 'Navigation' talk. W thanked him for getting us all home without crashing the ship or sinking it. 

Finally he went and stood on the deck, gazing at the distant, darkening horizon. He stayed there for about half an hour before it got too cold for him, and he returned to our cabin to finish his packing. 

Neither of us is looking forward to tomorrow — we just don't want this holiday to end…

Wilson gets wet!

Just two more Sea Days and we shall be back in Blighty. Wilson isn't looking forward to the holiday being over, so he's making the most of the time he has left. 

I persuaded him to try the slide into the Children's Pool. As you know, he HATES water, but he grudgingly agreed to give it a try. He jumped straight out of the pool, but agreed that it hadn't been quite as bad as he'd feared.

Building on this success, I managed to cajole him into a jacuzzi! He said this was okay, but a bit too much like being in a bath. 

Still, you've got to try new things when you're on vacation, and he has — I'm very proud of him! 

He spent the rest of the day sunbathing on deck, appreciating the last of the warm weather and sunshine. 

A close shave with a bridge...

Wilson is fascinated by Lisbon's trams, and asked me to take his photo standing in front of one; unfortunately, we didn't have time to ride one, though.

Over a beer in a pavement café he asked if we couldn't move to Lisbon. Or Madeira. I said that Portuguese is a difficult language to learn and I didn't think I could cope, but he countered that he had heard even young children speaking it, so it couldn't be that hard! 

Maybe his view is coloured by this being our last stop before chilly, grey Southampton and home.

There was some excitement as we left Lisbon and passed under the famous Ponte 25 de Abril Bridge — I think the captain said there was a seven metres clearance between the top of the ship and the bottom of the bridge, but W was sure he'd said seven millimetres and was planning which way to run when we struck it!

Wilson loves it in Lisbon...

Lisbon is a truly beautiful city. 

Wilson went on a bus tour and then, not altogether trusting my photography to do it justice, bought some picture postcards of local views. 

He really loves it here, and I find it difficult to disagree…

Lisbon!

In spite of his standing on the seat and constantly calling 'Choose me! Choose me!' Wilson was not chosen to participate in last night's stage hypnotism show. He was a bit disappointed, but mostly it made him very sceptical. After the show he told me he thought it was all a fix, but he'd bear Hypnotism in mind in case his career in Spirit Mediumship fell through.

Today we are is Lisbon, which is our final port of call. We're on the return leg of our journey and after another two Sea Days shall be back in Southampton. 

First we went to see the Torre de Belém or St Vincent's Tower, which was interesting but couldn't compete for Wilson's attention with a statue of a bi-plane a few metres away, commemorating the first flight across the South Atlantic. 

W gazed at it, misty-eyed, saying it reminded him of his ancestor the Blue Baron who fought in the Great Ant Wars of 1921, and also of the time he himself was taking flying lessons. A period I would prefer not to remember…

Next we went into the great Jerónimos Monastery, a huge, late-Gothic building in white stone. When we got inside, W started running about and shouting 'Geronimoooo!' I started to rebuke him, but he said that having been raised a Roman Catholic in Costa Rica he was pretty blasé about churches, and anyway he was only shouting the name of the saint. 

We're Lisbon Bound!

This afternoon, Wilson shot some hoops on the basketball court before heading to the buffet restaurant for tea. On his way there, he noticed a teddy-bear machine and decided that he 'really needed' a new teddy bear. Apart from the fact that Polly-B, Antony and Tiny Toy haven't once left the cabin, I think that £35 is too much to pay for a stuffed toy. W was a bit miffed — I hope he doesn't decide to mount a campaign because he will wear me down. Eventually.

This evening there is a Hypnotist at the theatre — I am very sceptical, but W is extremely excited and insisted on queueing to be the first in as he wanted to choose a seat where he would have the best chance of being chosen.

While we waited for the show to start, Wilson told me that we are like Gypsies travelling the world; settling where we choose then stealing away by night...

He can be quite poetic sometimes.

Tomorrow, we shall arrive in Lisbon!

Torvill and Dean's 30th Anniversary

This morning we attended a talk about Modern Navigation at Sea given by the captain. It was very interesting, and Wilson asked a lot of questions. So many that at one point the captain asked whether he was studying for his Masters' Licence! 

Afterwards Wilson took himself off for a bridge tour… except I'm terribly afraid it might not have been so much a tour as W finding the door unlocked and letting himself in for a look round. After that navigation lecture this morning, I just hope he didn't touch anything — a little knowledge can be a very dangerous thing.

Following lunch we went to the ice rink where, exactly 30 years after Torvill and Dean's Olympic triumph in Sarajevo, W slid uncertainly onto the ice grasping the handles of a stabilising penguin. He told me later that it was much harder than he'd expected and the motion of the ship had made it even more difficult. 

I think his fur softened most of his falls.

César Manrique

One of Wilson's friends, Helen, has parents-in-law who live here in Lanzarote. Unfortunately there wasn't time to visit them, but W says Hello to Helen's in-laws. 

She also suggested that he should look out for the works of famous local artist and architect César Manrique, and by a happy coincidence we found ourselves in a café/gallery where some of his awesome work is displayed! 

Over coffee W said he really loved the black iron sculpture, but that he thought the volcanoes on the island looked a bit like slag-heaps — I think he'd been expecting something more like Mount Fuji, complete with snow-capped peak and cherry trees! 

The landscape here is certainly unlike anything we've experienced before — like a post-industrial film set for Dune. On the trip back to the ship, W said he was thinking of writing a sci-fi novel set here. 

Tomorrow is a Sea Day as we cruise onward to Lisbon. Perhaps he could start work on his novel then… instead of spending a small fortune in the arcades and the casino.

Lanzarote!

Lanzarote! It is very dry here. VERY dry. Most of the gardens we've seen do not aspire to more than a few cacti, and even the palm trees have an irrigation hose run to each of them. Water is at a great premium here.

We visited a farm where Aloe Vera is grown and converted into pharmaceutical products such as skin cream and shampoo. The guide cut one of the plants open and gave each of us a piece, saying that we could rub it into our skin or eat it as we chose. I rubbed mine over my arms but Wilson, not wanting to make his fur sticky, ate his sample. 

He made quite a lot of fuss spitting it out into a bin. I tried to hush him but he complained loudly saying, 'But you didn't taste it, New Dad! It was terrible!' The guide had said it tasted 'Special… in a good way' but W insisted that his piece tasted like snot. 

Anyway, I bought some Aloe Vera shampoo and we headed to a leisure park elsewhere on the island, with W still making gagging noises…

Party!

After leaving Johnny Rocket's Diner we headed off to the all-night Deck Party!

I must say that, for an anteater who only an hour before had declared himself to have 'never felt fuller,' he managed to tuck away a prodigious quantity of buffet food! 

After an hour or so of snacking and dancing to the live bands, Wilson ended up rocking on-stage to applause from the partygoers — you'd almost think they'd never seen a dancing anteater before! 

Although we boogied until after midnight, we eventually had to return to our cabin before the party ended as we have to make an early start in Lanzarote tomorrow morning!

Johnny Rocket

Instead of eating in the grand silver service restaurant, I took Wilson to the on-board American Diner, Johnny Rocket's. 

He ordered the largest vegetarian burger I have ever seen, and proceeded, much to the surprise of the serving staff, to sprinkle ants all over it, and a huge ice-cream sundae to follow.

Every thirty minutes or so, the juke-box would play very loud disco music — Stayin' Alive by the Bee-Gees or Donna Summer's Last Dance were popular — and all the staff would come out and dance. Wilson joined in with the dancing enthusiastically, although I was a little afraid that after so much burger and fries he might be sick.

When the meal was finished and neither of us could eat another thing, W announced that he had never felt fuller, nor enjoyed a meal so much. 

He doesn't know that the night is not yet over…

Is it a dog? Is it a seal?

Moments before boarding the coach to go back to the ship, Wilson disappeared. I looked everywhere… except up. He had gone to investigate a palm tree, not believing that was where coconuts come from.

On the journey home, W asked the tour guide why he hadn't seen any canaries in the Canary Islands. The guide patiently explained that Canary Islands or Islas Canarias is derived from the Latin Canariae Insulae, which actually means Island of the Dogs. 

Wilson began to say that he had indeed seen a lot of dogs on the islands, but the guide interrupted to say that these dogs weren't really dogs but seals, as canis marinus or 'sea dog' is Latin for Seal. 

W thought for a few moments, then told the guide that he had once been to the Isle of Dogs in London's East End, but hadn't seen any seals, adding 'Also, it's not nearly as nice as here!'

As a surprise for Wilson, we're not eating in the restaurant this evening — instead we're going to an American Diner called Johnny Rocket's! I think he'll love it there.

An eventful day draws to a close

Once the submarine trip was over Wilson declared himself to be in urgent need of sustenance, so we popped into Café de Mogan for latte and cake before exploring the town a little further.

Then we boarded the coach and were taken to a man-made beach covered with sand dunes, where W could play and run off some of his excess energy.

At the end of the day we climbed back onto the coach for the journey back to the ship, where an eventful evening is in prospect!

Dive! Dive!

Wilson was beside himself with excitement after I told him we would be taking a dive on the submarine… although as the time to board drew nearer his eagerness started to desert him.

'We're not going to get wet, are we, New Dad?' he enquired plaintively. He has never concealed his aversion to water, in any circumstances. 

He relaxed a little when I assured him that the inside of the sub would remain bone-dry, though he did insist on asking the captain where his life-jacket was. 

Once the dive started, however, he was lost to the magical scene unfolding outside his porthole; shipwrecks, bubbles and thousands of fish…

Puerto de Mogán

Today we are in the gorgeous little town of Puerto de Mogán in Gran Canaria! It is stunningly beautiful here, and we spent some time exploring the town and the marina. 

Wilson spotted a yellow submarine moored in the marina and, although he doesn't know it, we'll be taking a trip on it later! 

I expect it will be very different from the last submarine he went on, at Chatham Dockyard!