Spread the love!

Wilson loved his paddling pool, staying in it all day yesterday until his paws went all wrinkly and he thought he was starting to dissolve! 

Since we got back from Jersey, many of you have been in touch to tell him how much you liked his car window stickers... so he has produced a version for you to print, cut out and stick in your own cars!

He understands that most of you will not be fortunate enough to have an anteater of your own, but he says that using these stickers will 'Spread the Anteater Love!' — and surely we all want to do that!

Woo! Look at me! I'm swimming!

Although his family originates from a very hot country, Wilson has spent all his life in Sussex, and he's not used to the current high temperatures which he's finding a bit oppressive. So he has bravely put aside his inherent dislike of water, and bought a paddling pool from Amazon.

He was waiting anxiously this morning for the postman to deliver it. When it finally arrived Wilson took the box and ran into the garden, tearing it open as he went, and erected it quickly. Then using the hose he added ¾" of water and gingerly lowered himself in.

After a few minutes he was splashing about happily and I suggested he might like a little more water. He refused, saying that anything deeper than ¾" might pose a drowning risk for Antony or his Tiny Toy. 

The sTone Brothers receive their gifts...

Wilson has presented the sTone Brothers with their souvenir sticks of Jersey Rock… though I can't imagine what they're going to do with them: sTony can't find his to eat it, and sToneye can only look at his… but W says that they are both pleased with their gifts. 

I expect he'll be back later to help… possibly by eating the rock for them!

At the moment Wilson is busy on-line ordering up a paddling pool from Amazon.

Friends reunited

Without Wilson's constant diversions to fairgrounds etc we made good time back to Uckfield.

Once W had woken up he went next door to retrieve Diesel the Goldfish, and they had a tearful reunion… although I never worked out how W could be so certain that Diesel was crying, what with him being underwater.

Wilson presented Diesel and Antony with sticks of Jersey Rock, and an extra-small stick for Tiny Toy, before heading out into the garden to see sTony and sToneye.

Holidayed-out!

Following an uneventful journey back to Poole on the ferry and an undisturbed night at the hotel (to Wilson's disappointment — no refund this time!) I thought we'd be heading straight home. 

But Wilson has a knack of seeking out fun, and he directed me to Bournemouth where he discovered a sea-front fairground. 

He had a ride on the carousel (scarier than it looks) and an ice-cream (not as big as he expected) before finally declaring himself 'completely holidayed-out!' 

Climbing into the back seat of the car he settled down to sleep, telling me that I'd have to rely on the sat-nav to get me home as he was too tired for any more map-reading.

A mechanical fish tries to cheer Wilson up

Wilson always gets a bit melancholy when a holiday draws to a close, and today is no different. 

We spent the morning at the St Helier Maritime Museum which was in fact very good and filled with excellent interactive displays, though W was too morose to pay much attention. He did like this giant copper fish-head which opened its mouth when you pressed a foot pedal, however!

After lunch he spent some time forlornly arranging his 'We've Been to Jersey' car stickers in the rear window before we head off to the ferry terminal later today.

Ich bin eine Jersey!

Since our visit to The War Tunnels, Wilson has felt quite a connection to Jersey and its people. Today he said he wanted to re-visit the statues in Freedom Square, so he could demonstrate his solidarity with the Jersey Islanders. 

Once we arrived he stood amongst the bronze figures and, paraphrasing the late President Kennedy, shouted at the top of his voice, 'Ich bin eine Jersey!' He then raised one paw aloft in the universal gesture of fraternity and asked me to take his photo.

It was a very moving moment… although I'm pretty sure W's shouted slogan translates as 'I am a pullover!'

Then back to St Brelade's bay for another wonderful dinner on our last full day on Jersey.

Amazing sand castles!

Our time on Jersey is drawing to a close, but there are still one or two things Wilson wanted to see before we leave. One of these was Sand Wizard Simon, whose display is filled with magnificent and enormous sand sculptures. W chatted at length with the sculptor, hoping to pick up some tips for his next trip to the beach.

We spent the rest of the day in the beautiful grounds of a stately home. There were several bee hives in the kitchen garden area, and Wilson took a great interest in these. 

Later he asked me whether he could have a pet bee. I told him I was sure that could be arranged but he should wait until we were back in England, rather than have to declare a pet bee at customs. 

W was very excited, and told me he would call his bee Polly and would sell her honey in tiny jars when our garden was open to the public. 

I had rather hoped he had forgotten about opening our garden to the public...

Eating Italian

After a long day at Fort Elizabeth we had an uneventful crossing back to the mainland. 

Wilson just had time to take a tour of St Helier on a Land Train before we headed off for dinner at a really lovely Italian restaurant overlooking the harbour at St Aubin. 

The waiters seemed to take a shine to W, calling him bello piccolo mangiatore delle formiche and lavishing him with extra attention and antipasto. 

W took great pleasure in this, whispering between courses that I should treat him more like this when we're at home.

Wilson joins the army and helps fire a big gun!

A number of male visitors, including Wilson, were press-ganged into becoming army recruits! 

They were drilled and marched around the parade ground for a while, then led away to the battlements where, with the recruits' help, the '18th Century soldier' fired the one o'clock cannon. 

This is a day young Wilson is unlikely to forget in a hurry...

Fix Bayonets!

Disembarking from the amphibious and entering Fort Elizabeth, Wilson confidently explained to me that it is called Fort Elizabeth because Mr Prince Philip gave it to Queen Elizabeth for her birthday when she was 100. 

We soon came across a man dressed as a soldier from the 1850s demonstrating how to use a bayonet and fire a musket. 

Wilson felt a bit poorly during the bayonetting demonstration, then during a talk by a blood-spattered 'surgeon' about battle-field operations (mostly amputations) he had to be helped outside and given a glass of water. 

Although it's well paid, I think he should cross Surgeon off his list of possible careers!

Sea crossing to Fort Elizabeth

Today we're off to visit Fort Elizabeth, which apparently involves a short sea-crossing in an amphibious vehicle. 

Wilson is — how can I put this without causing offence? — a nervous sailor, so we were both relieved when we arrived to find the tide was out and our craft the "Charming Betty" would not be required to float, merely to drive over some very wet sand. 

Nevertheless, W paid very close attention to the location of the life-jackets and the 'evacuation procedures' video.

St Helier Steam Clock

As Wilson has planned quite a heavy schedule for the next few days, we decided to spend a quiet day in St Helier.

He was a bit nervous about standing next to the mine, saying, 'Just read the sign! It says it's a REAL MINE! It could go off at any minute! Hello?'

In the evening I spotted the St Helier Steam Clock and I was reminded of the fantastical Guinness Clock which I'd seen in my childhood. I persuaded Wilson to wait until it struck the hour.

'It'll be amazing,' I told him. 'I expect people will pop out and the paddle wheels will turn and the whistle will blow and there'll be steam everywhere — you can't imagine how great it will be!'

We waited. The clock passed six. Nothing happened.

Well, that's 50 minutes of my life I'll never see again!' Wilson remarked, a trifle testily I thought.

Wimbledon 2013

We completed our tour of The War Tunnels yesterday, then came Wilson's favourite part of any tourist attraction: the Gift Shop and the Restaurant!

In spite of the sunshine, today we spent the afternoon in our room at the hotel watching tv. Thank goodness we can receive the BBC here in Jersey, or we would have missed the Wimbledon Men's Final, and the day I never thought to see! Well Done Andy! 

Both W and I were emotionally wrecked by the end on the match!

We go inside The Tunnel...

I have seen quite a few exhibits like The Jersey War Tunnels over the years, but I have to say that this is one of the very best I've ever visited — it really is excellent! 

Wilson is taking everything in, reading every caption, watching every video, even making notes in his guide book. 

This could be quite an extended visit, but I'm not complaining; I'm enjoying every minute here.

Jersey War Tunnels

Here is Wilson posing for a photo on the steps of our hotel before we head off to the Jersey War Tunnels. This is a much-anticipated highlight of our visit for Wilson — he absolutely LOVES tunnels! The War Tunnels are probably the reason that we are in Jersey instead of Worthing!

It might be worth mentioning the politeness of drivers on Jersey — they are preemptively, almost aggressively polite, stopping on busy main roads to let us pull out of a side road, for example.

But here we are at The War Tunnels, where Wilson is almost beside himself with anticipation!

The Glass Church

Today we set off to see Jersey's famous Glass Church.

Wilson had been a bit worried about this, saying that if it had recently been cleaned we might not be able to see anything, or even find it. 

This proved not to be the case. 

We parked the car behind a large white concrete building which, it turned out, actually was the 'glass church'. 

Wilson looked at it scathingly before pointing out the blindingly obvious to me: 'It's not made of glass — it's made of cement! Only the windows are glass… What a gyp!' 

For the rest of the day, whenever we passed a church Wilson would point and say, 'Oh look! Another so-called "glass church" made of cement! The island is full of them!'

Today being my birthday, Wilson gave me a pack of prototype Oddsies! and took me to a beautiful beach-side restaurant in St Brelade's Bay for dinner. 

I must remember to wear my Oddsies! tomorrow when we make our much-anticipated visit to The War Tunnels…

Mont Orgueil Castle

Next on our itinerary was Mont Orgueil Castle. The first thing we saw inside was this magnificent iron knight on horseback. Wilson said he thought we should have something like this in our garden at home and he would look into it. 

Then we came across what I think is called a parterre garden, but W maintained was a maze. He insisted that I stand on a nearby wall so that I could see over the hedges to keep an eye on him and guide him out should he become hopelessly lost. 

Free pass!

After an (extremely) hearty breakfast we made out way to the Jersey Tourist Office, where Wilson bought two Jersey Tourist Passes, which will get us into most of the attractions on the island without charge. 

The first place we visited was the zoo — The Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust. Wilson proudly handed over our visitors' passes and we were ushered in without further payment. 

W is looking after both passes because, as he said, 'You might get overexcited and lose them. I know what you're like, New Dad!'

________________

CHECK THIS OUT! 

June has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the latest monthly volume of Ant Wars II: June 2013 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as a Summer Holiday in Jersey!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_june_2013

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon

Breakfast

Ant Wars II:

We have a long day ahead of us, so Wilson insisted we have an early and substantial breakfast. 

He was very impressed by our attentive waiters and by the grandeur of our surroundings. Also the vegetarian breakfast options available to him.

I lost count of the number of times he re-visited the breakfast buffet bar, but I think he's eaten enough to last him at least until we see the first ice-cream kiosk!

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.