The Xmas tree is finished

Well, it took a long time but Wilson finally has the Xmas tree decorated to his satisfaction. I think it looks lovely. He says his paws are sore from the pine needles, but otherwise he's very happy. He also smells very Xmassy!

It's freezing this morning, with a heavy frost, but W intends to put up the outside lights this afternoon. 

Dressing the tree...

Wilson, now fully recovered from his Adventure in Time, has put the Xmas tree up. He has just come down from the loft with a LOAD of decorations, and is going to dress the tree this afternoon. 

I know he had intended to decorate the tree entirely with Pantone® colour-matched decorations, but they were quite expensive so we just got three Pantone® Xmastree Balls and W coordinated the other decorations as best he could.

Weather permitting, he plans to put up the outside lights tomorrow.

Time Travel experiment fails dismally

Wilson's experiment in Suspended Animation, or 'One-Way Time Travel' as he called it, was a dismal failure, and he is in a very grumpy mood this morning. 

He woke at the usual time, complaining of indigestion and a headache (ie a hangover), asking, 'Is is Xmas yet?' When he found it was only the following day he groaned, put his paws over his eyes and tried, unsuccessfully, to go back to sleep. 

He was so hung-over that I had to bring his breakfast to him in his bed. After a few pints of water, two paracetamol and some fire-ants, I'm sure he'll be as good as new, but he says he's never going to try hibernating again. 

Decorating the Xmas Tree has fallen behind schedule, so I'll try to distract him with that later. 

Wilson's Xmas Plan

Last night Wilson cooked a very large meal and ate far more than usual. He washed it down with a lot of Ant Gin. Then he announced that he was bored with waiting for Xmas and he was going to hibernate until Xmas Eve.

We both know that anteaters do not naturally hibernate, but he thought that with enough food and drink inside him, together with the current cold weather, it should be achievable. 

He made me promise to post his letter to Father Xmas, and to wake him on Xmas Eve. Then he took himself off to the tumble dryer and retired. 

Xmas List

Wilson has just finished writing his list for Father Xmas. 

I've caught a glimpse of it, and I have to say that there are some very big asks on it. 

Some VERY big asks.

December 1st!

'December the First!' Wilson cried out as he opened his eyes this morning, 'Only about 120 Sleeps until Xmas!'

There was great excitement when he thought he'd spotted an illuminated model anteater in one of the shop displays. He swore it must have been modelled on his great, great step uncle as it has the exact same ears. 

It turns out it was only a deer, but I think it's given W an idea…

CHECK THIS OUT!

November has been a very busy month for Wilson Vermilingua OBE!

I've just uploaded the tenth monthly volume of Ant Wars II: NOVEMBER 2012 so you can catch up on anything you've missed.

Please tell all your friends, as it is Wilson's stated ambition for his life story to be, as he puts it, "As Popular as Father Xmas!". 

You can download it or read it online at:

http://issuu.com/friendlydragon/docs/ant_wars_ii_november_2012

You can now SUBSCRIBE to Wilson's blog by email!

The BLOG is right here: http://antwars2.blogspot.co.uk/

You can TRANSLATE Wilson's blog into other languages!

You can COMMENT on Wilson's blog — and he'd love to hear from you!

Photographs of the lovely WILSON are by Tamanduagirl at 

http://www.livingwithanteaters.com/ and are used by kind permission.

Tinsel time!

Wilson is hoping to start decorating the house for Xmas tomorrow, so we had to pop out to do some last-minute tinsel shopping. 

I had no idea that choosing tinsel would be so difficult, or take so long. The colour, apparently, has to be just right. Pantone swatches were consulted frequently. 

Who knew?

World Electronic Greetings Day

Today is Electronic Greetings Day, so this message will be 140 chars.

long, Twitter format. However, Wilson has something VERY important to…

A love of stationery...

We continued our Xmas shopping at ASDA*.

Wilson has a deep-seated and profound love of stationery and spent a lot of time in this aisle, gazing lovingly at binders and notebooks, smelling the erasers and pencils.

I shall be very surprised if I don't get a stapler and a box of rubber bands for Xmas!

*That's like WalMart for English people

The perfect Xmas card

We did a little Xmas shopping today, and Wilson chose the cards to send to his family. He sends everyone in his family an identical card, to minimise jealousy and squabbling, so he had to choose the perfect card that would please everyone and offend no one. 

You might be surprised to learn how long that took.

Wilson is unable to help Greece

Wilson is a bit disappointed not to have had a reply from the Greek Prime Minister. He told me that the PM probably thought his offer to help him through the economic crisis was too generous to be true, but still he should have sent an email thanking him. 

'My paws are tied, though!' he continued. 'There is no way I can print any more money until I get some more cyan ink!'

Walking the walk...

We've just arrived back from Brighton Marina. While we were there Wilson had another cup of the 'best in the world' hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows at The Laughing Dog Café and Gallery. He insisted that Antony should also have one of his own which, unsurprisingly, W finished for him – the cup was bigger than Antony who is, after all, only a small stuffed toy.

The purpose of our visit, though, was to install some of Wilson's Walk-of-Fame stickers. 

He's very pleased with the result, but asks that you continue to apply pressure to the Walk-of-Fame people to have a real Walk-of-Fame plaque installed with his name on it.

Can-Do attitude!

WIlson is still in bed, exhausted after his 24-hours Dr Who-a-thon. Last night he refused to enter any empty rooms unaccompanied, just in case there was a DALEK in there. He was pretty certain there was one in the downstairs loo, but I think it was just the cistern gurgling.

  

In spite of all your help and messages, Wilson has not heard anything from the Brighton Walk of Fame people. 

Rather than moping about it, though, he has adopted the Guerilla approach, and designed his own Walk of Fame plaque. He asks that each of you print it out, cut round the image and stick it on a pavement near you. Or if you live near a Walk of Fame, stick it over one of the existing plaques.

Never downhearted, Wilson has a real CAN-DO attitude… and a fear of Dr Who monsters!

Knock knock... Who's there? DOCTOR!

Wilson is ingeniously combining World Television Day, which was a couple of days ago, with World Doctor Who Day today by watching Dr Who on UK Gold all day. I think the Who-a-thon has already gotten too much for him: he's dropped off, and he's only on the Third Doctor!

Tom Baker and all of the later Doctors have been fantastic, but I think William Hartnell will always be the most sinister…

W has warned me that I shall have to cook dinner for us both this evening, as he can't leave the tv. I think this means he'll be too scared to go into the kitchen alone!

Wilson calls on his friends for help!

Wilson has been doing some research into how to get his name added to the Brighton Walk of Fame…

He's been in touch with the person in charge, the Founder and Managing Director, David Courtney, who told Wilson that, "The nomination and voting for the Brighton Walk of Fame are determined by community voting."

W is now appealing to all his friends to email David Courtney to ask to have Wilson Vermilingua OBE included. 

This is your chance to help Wilson in a matter that is close to his heart – the address is:

     info@walkoffame.co.uk

Wilson thanks you.

Adam Ant!

Wilson was researching online how to get his name added to the Brighton Walk of Fame when he came across an announcement from the De La Warr Pavilion, which is near here, that Adam Ant would be playing in concert there… and he'd missed it! By two days!

Along with the Beatles, Adam Ant is his favourite band (you may remember his tribute CD Hi Wilson sings Ant Music?) and he's really mad to have missed them performing so close to us. 

Still, he's channeling his anger into his Walk of Fame campaign.

Walk of Fame

We drove home to Uckfield via Brighton Marina, to avoid the city traffic, and stopped off there so Wilson could have another hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. 

On our way to the restaurant Wilson noticed the Brighton Walk of Fame: a series of granite plaques set into the pavement, each honouring a celebrity who had some sort of tenuous link with Brighton. We strolled the length of the walk, reading the plaques and W occasionally asking me who someone was.

'You used to live in Brighton didn't you, New Dad?' Wilson asked me. I confirmed that I'd lived there for most of my life.

'And now you're my New Dad?' I smiled and nodded.

'Yet I'm not listed amongst these so-called celebs!' he cried. 'They include this Victorian alleged paedophile, yet they exclude me! Something's going to be done about this…'

Oh dear. I can feel a campaign coming on.

Perfect and beautiful...

Following my eye exam, the optician's findings were quite reassuring. 

Wilson, however, was a little disappointed to be told that his eyesight was 'near perfect'... because he'd set his heart on some 'cool and sexy' glasses. 

Once I'd bought him a pair of sunglasses, though, he cheered up and told everyone in the shop that the optician had said his eyes were 'perfect and beautiful.' 

Then we headed off to Brighton Marina for a cup of coffee…

Visit to the Optician

My GP suggested that I should visit the optician to get a full eye exam. Wilson was fascinated and, forgetting that we were there for my benefit, not his, proceeded to choose some frames for himself. From the Designer section, obviously.

He was most concerned that the lenses should be tinted to complement his eye colour. 

He also thought he'd need some of the special prescription swimming goggles (in spite of the fact that he can't swim), and a pair of prescription ski goggles (in spite of the… well, you get the idea).