'Let me get this straight,' she began, 'I've been watching a lot of stuff about Xmas on tv, especially the adverts – and it would appear that Xmas is about giving people cheap plastic crap made in China by slave labour. It's flown or shipped here clocking-up millions of tonnes of greenhouse gases and sold by companies owned by billionaires and paying no taxes, then distributed by zero-hours-contract van drivers earning below minimum wage (and polluting the environment even more), then most of it is put into a land-fill in January.'
Wilson considered for a moment and replied, 'Well, if you take Father Xmas, Reindeer, Elves and Magic out of the equation, that does pretty much sum it up…'
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