GRAND OPENING CEREMONY

The whole family has gathered in front of the garden shed, um, well… that's to say The Museum, and Wilson has welcomed everyone to this exciting new educational (and, he hopes, profitable) venture.

'Before I cut the ribbon and declare this Museum open,' he announced, 'here is world-renowned comedian, Tiny Toy, direct from his sell-out gig at the Happy Ant Diner – please give it up for Tiny Toy!'

Wilson lifted TT and held him up to the microphone.

'Hello, good evening, welcome!' TT began. 'Do you know how many Roadies it takes to change a lightbulb?' He stretched out a tiny paw and tapped the Mic, saying, 'One! Two! One! Two! Two two two! – thank you, you're very kind. 

This reminds me of the time Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson went to a Rock Museum. They walked around for a while when Watson noticed a rock that didn't have a display card. 

"What kind of rock is that?" he asked Sherlock.

"Sedimentary, my dear Watson!"

Thank you, thank you! I've been Tiny Toy, and you've been a wonderful audience – goodnight!'

Wilson thanked him then with a flourish of his scissors cut the ribbon and announced, 'I declare The Wilson Vermilingua New Museum of Old Stuff is now… OPEN!'

Everyone cheered enthusiastically!

Uncle Zoltan then began an interminable Drum Solo of the roof…