MOTHERS' DAY

Yesterday a letter arrived for Wilson, but what with launching his new novel, Lord Of The Ants, he'd been too busy to read it.

Today he took it to his library and tore open the envelope.

'It's from my Mum, Mrs Vermilingua,' he announced.

Mrs V rarely communicates directly with W, so I said, 'I hope it's not bad news!' 

He sighed and said, that rather depended on how you define bad news…'

'It says she's worried about me. Worried I've broken my paw so I can't pick up the phone to call her… blah blah… it's been so long since I visited her that I've got three new siblings… blah blah blah… would it kill you to… Mothers' Day in two weeks…  that's about it.'

I asked what the new children were called – he referred to the letter again and said, 'Hmm… the twins are called Klara and Kafka, and then there's little Laszlo. It seems my mother has reverted to her Alphabetical Naming Scheme – I assume one of the Keepers is helping her with that.'